Let's welcome the nation to Minneapolis, where we will spend the next week exploring answers to the question: What if the NFL presented the Super Bowl From Hell, and it froze over?
Take entitled Patriots fans, violent Eagles fans, add black ice, and you get a smoothie that tastes nastier than kale.
This could not have worked out any worse for Minnesota. We will host one team that the nation loves to hate and one fan base that deserves to be hated as the Vikings become the first NFL team ever to welcome to its stadium for the Super Bowl the team that beat it to advance to it. It's like the Packers played a practical joke on the entire state.
What did Minnesotans do to deserve this? Other than support a team that gave up 38 unanswered points to a backup quarterback in the NFC Championship Game?
If you are one of the lucky locals with a ticket to the big game, you may feel obligated to root for one of these teams. This will be like choosing between Vader and Voldemort.
On one sideline will be a team trying to prove again that it is the greatest intermittent dynasty in NFL history amid reports that the star quarterback went over the head of the Greatest Coach Ever to get the talented backup quarterback traded so the star can play until he wears out the tennis balls on his walker.
The New England Patriots have been accused of all manner of football espionage. Patriots fans respond by accusing the NFL office of conspiracy to ruin its own brand. This doesn't make sense. Commissioner Roger Goodell doesn't benefit from destroying the reputation of the best team in the league, and he's not capable of playing the three-dimensional chess required to do so.
Patriots fans believe winning justifies the means. What's remarkable about their team is that Belichick and Brady would have won as many championships had they not filmed Jets defensive signals during a game, or allegedly deflated footballs to beat the Colts (whom they could have beaten with medicine balls).
