Dave won't say what it cost, but Uptown's smokin' large

Famous Dave is mighty proud of the shiny new 7-foot-tall wood smoker installed at the "BBQ & Blues" restaurant's Uptown location.

"This is the biggest smoker in Minnesota," Dave said at a VIP party for the Calhoun Square outpost of the national chain with corporate offices in Minnesota.

The newly renovated restaurant added large windows, an outdoor patio and that 6-by-9-foot smoking monster.

"We opened Calhoun back in, I think, 1996, and it's taken us till 2010 to get this smoker in -- to get all the city clearances," said Dave. "We are so happy to have this wood smoker. It smolders with smoldering hickory, and it just makes the best ribs."

The cost of the smoker was not disclosed, although I asked.

My e-mail address is at the bottom of this column if your smoker is bigger than the one you can see at startribune.com/video, which also includes other scenes from the party.

The Dave and Steve Hour

There were intermittent performances of the "Famous Dave and Steve Schussler Show" during the party, although Big John Dickerson's group, featuring singer Jamela Pettiford, was the hired entertainment.

Can't recall ever seeing the Dave and Steve act before, but it'll be hard to forget now that there's video.

There's also the scene where the rib restaurant magnate and the theme restaurant savant recite, in unison, while pointing at each other: "This is a man who's never had a bad day in his entire life." The recitation happened frequently.

They also danced together. I could find the words to describe the sight of these guys dancing, but I'm going to let the video do the talking.

Oh, those white shoes ...

Schussler, a man who almost never drinks alcohol and doesn't need to start, also did some standup.

He made fun of Famous Dave's waistline (something neither he nor I have much room to do) and of attorney Clark Griffith, son of the late first owner of the Minnesota Twins, Calvin Griffith.

Griffith was looking mighty dapper in white bucks and a splendid tan-colored linen suit by Ralph Lauren.

"He's the only non-Jew I know who could get away with wearing white shoes," said Schussler, adding his maniacal laugh and stretching the syllables of the word "Miami" as he teased.

A big, satisfied smile played across Griffith's face. Griffith told me that he once took some guff for this piece of sartorial splendor when he ran into WCCO-TV and AM sports guy Mike Max, a fellow who enjoys spending money on haberdashery. Max told Griffith the suit needed a pressing and Clark gave Mike a lesson in linen.

"I remember that," said Max, when reached later. "Not only did I give him a hard time, but I have taken measures to help Clark get out of the Ivy League and into the more Minnesota scene. So I have given him gift certificates and everything to the Foursome in Wayzata, now Plymouth."

Tiger's doubts multiply

Clark Griffith provided his take on Tiger Woods', ah, problems on the golf course, but was not so quick to answer questions regarding the lack of a likeness between the late Kirby Puckett and the statue that honors Puck at Target Field ... although Griffith supplied visually interesting video.

Re: Woods' play, now that everybody knows what a complete dog he was regarding the care of his soon-to-be-former marriage to Elin Nordegren:

"He thought he was immortal, impregnable. Now he's got doubt. You have any doubt [when you're a professional athlete] and you're done," said Griffith, a man who has spent a lot of time around pros. "The old Tiger's gone. It had to happen someday."

Re: Does the face on the Puckett statue look anything like the man Griffith remembers:

"I'm not going to answer that question," said Griffith, leaning forward to give the video camera a closeup of his eyeballs and pores.

On Wednesday, I checked the statue AGAIN for signs of any tweaking that would make it look more like the Puckett everybody remembers. A Twins fan buying tickets said the body is Puck's but the face is not.

At another recent event, where Twins owner Jim Pohlad was unfortunate enough to come within my orbit, I pulled him aside to tell him that sculptors tell me the head can be redone at a fraction of the cost of the whole piece. You just cut the head off at the neck, go back to the studio and re-do the mug.

Pohlad slowly danced around the lack of a likeness. "I'd like to see him smiling. He had a great face. Maybe we'll do a different pose," mused Pohlad, who's declined to return a phone call to further discuss this matter. The visage remains annoying, because if there's one statue you want to get right, it's Kirrrrrby Puckett's!

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.