In the fall of 2009, Maj. Tad Hervas was a 17-year military veteran on his third combat deployment, an intelligence officer with top secret security clearance who was in almost daily contact with the CIA.
And his Army career was effectively over.
Hervas, 48, from Coon Rapids, was being forced out of the Army because the National Guard had determined that he'd had an inappropriate relationship with a subordinate.
On Oct. 6, Hervas was scheduled to fly to Baghdad to begin his legal defense. The day before, he prepared four notes, hiding one of them in his roommate's pillowcase. That morning, Hervas found an isolated room, unholstered his 9-millimeter service pistol and shot himself in the head.
"This was a cold and calculated act. I spoke to nor hinted of this to anyone," Hervas wrote in the letters marked for his commanders. "Do not blame anyone for my death."
Hervas became the highest-ranking member of the Minnesota National Guard -- and one of the most senior officers in the entire Army -- to take his own life.
His death rocked the Guard and brought the specter of suicide into its highest echelons. More than a year and a half later, the Guard remains reluctant to divulge information, even to his family, about how such a senior officer came to die by his own hand.
The letters he left behind, though, spelled out Hervas' despair, and his anger.