Lakeville dad who abandoned son gets 2 years probation

Steven A. Cross had not spoken to his 11-year-old son since last July, when he abandoned him to the care of neighbors and fled to California.

But in a Dakota County courtroom on Wednesday, Cross finally got a chance to hear how his son felt when he woke up and discovered his father was gone.

"When my dad left me, it felt like my life was over," Sebastian Cross wrote in a statement read in the courtroom by Assistant Dakota County Attorney Nicole Nee. "It was horrible. ... It was the worst day of my life."

After hearing his son's words, Steven Cross, choking with emotion, told sentencing Judge Robert King: "I want to tell him how sorry I am that this happened. I realize I made a mistake."

Cross, 60, was sentenced to two years of probation and a one-year stayed jail term after being convicted earlier this year of misdemeanor child neglect.

Sebastian was not present for his father's sentencing or the child protection hearing that followed. At that hearing, Judge Richard Spicer ordered that Sebastian immediately leave the foster care of his great-aunt, where he has lived for about nine months, and move in with his mother, Katik Porter.

Until last July, Sebastian didn't know that his mother was alive.

Spicer left it up to family therapists working with both parents to decide when Cross can visit his son. The parents have agreed to share legal and physical custody. Spicer noted that he had talked before the hearing with Sebastian, who was unhappy about leaving his great-aunt and was concerned about staying in touch with his newly discovered half-brother; the judge specified that contact will continue. He set a tentative hearing for July 25 if the case isn't resolved by then.

Steven Cross had told Sebastian for years that his mother was dead, but in the letter he left behind last July, he revealed that she wasn't. She came forward after Cross was arrested, and she pushed to gain the boy's custody.

Sebastian addressed his newly discovered relatives in his victim impact statement: "I did get to meet my family," he wrote. "I wish my dad didn't lie about my family."

"We know the law requires reunification and that is appropriate," Assistant County Attorney Don Bruce said at the custody hearing. "I think we are at the point that it needs to happen. It is important that he is with his mother from here on out and that he works at re-establishing a relationship with his father."

After the hearing, Spicer said: "I like this little kid. I worry about him."

Except for a brief courtroom glimpse last month, Cross has not seen his son since slipping out of his home the night of July 18. He explained later that he was despondent because he couldn't find work and his house was in foreclosure.

Cross had a deli job and was living in his van in Cambria, Calif., when police arrested him Aug. 29. He hadn't contacted his son but had asked a friend to check on him.

After Wednesday's hearings, Cross was asked why he left his son.

"I couldn't see putting my son in a van and being homeless. I am still bothered by people who say that's what you are supposed to do. I asked people for help but I couldn't find a helping hand." He said he still needs a job but is involved with a church and has neighbors who have offered to help him.

"Today he is aware of available resources," added his civil attorney, Jeffrey Priest.

Judge King told Cross, an unemployed architect, that he will not do any jail time beyond the 32 days he served after being caught in California, unless he fails to remain law-abiding or fails to follow therapist recommendations. Cross also must pay restitution of $2,520 to the state for the cost of his extradition from California.

Asked what he thought of his sentence and Spicer's ruling, Cross said:

"I am happy with the sentence because it allows me to spend time with my son Sebastian. Now I can focus on him and not on this court proceeding. I had a lot of tough circumstances. I know that doesn't matter to an 11-year-old boy. I understand that I wounded him. He needs to hear that I am sorry. ... He is a great kid and I love him."

Jim Adams • 952-746-3283