There's a ceremony for the Lesser Oscars, and you rarely hear about these unsung winners because they're not good-looking enough. But they deserve some respect, so here are some of the winners who didn't get to stand in front of a billion people Sunday night clutching a naked, bald, gold idol:
Category: Best Editing for a Trailer That Gave Away Everything.
Winner: "The Mysterious Mr. Enigma's Secret," which ended with Ben Affleck saying, "Yes. I am Mr. Enigma." The announcement was accompanied by a big BOOM like John Goodman kicking a timpani, then silence and then the title appearing with the date of the release.
Category: The Guy Who's Supposed to Make Sure the Wine Glass Is in the Same Place Throughout the Scene But Screwed It Up Big Time.
Winner: Hildar Sjvart for "The Postman Hesitated," a Finnish movie about an emotionally unfulfilled woman who embarks on an affair because she thinks she's in a French movie. The glass moved around several times in a pivotal scene in which she stared out the window at the rain and smoked several cigarettes; its restlessness reflected the emotional turbulence beneath her surface.
In his acceptance speech, Sjvart gave some insight into his craft: "Usually I glue it down, but this time I forgot. I've been having problems at home. My wife, she ... "
Boring; next award please.
Category: A Documentary About the Making of a Trailer for a Documentary.
