Can you believe that United Airlines flight attendant slapped a baby and then set off the smoke detector when she burned a crucifix? Bad PR week for the company.
OK, that hasn't happened. Yet. By the time this hits print, who knows what will have happened? It's possible Pepsi will make an ad that shows a passenger about to be dragged off a plane, but he gives the cop a soda and everything's jake. Social media — a term that means "millions of people yelling at the bathroom mirror" — will erupt with fury, and everyone involved will apologize.
Which means ... nothing.
No one believes in the sincerity of a corporate apology anymore — if they ever did. Let me give you a local example.
The coin-counting machine was broken at the grocery store. It's been that way for weeks. The store put up a sign that said it wasn't working, and then added: "We apologize for the inconvenience. Have a great day!"
It's that last happy fillip of encouragement that strikes people as strenuously insincere. Can you even imagine a conversation that goes:
"Say there, Bob, you're in a chipper mood. What's up? Has the imminence of spring put a lilt in your step?"
"Nah, I went to dump a coffee can full of coins into a machine that translates them into pieces of paper we all assume have intrinsic value, but it was broken. For a moment I was mad, but then the sign said they apologized for it, and I thought, 'Well, they do care. There is a human heart behind the cold, calculating brain of the financial industry. I'll bet the branch manager was stripped to the waist in the lobby, flogging himself with wet leather straps, crying for forgiveness.'
