I Will Find You
By Joanna Connors. (Atlantic Monthly Press, 256 pages, $25.)
In this painful memoir, a reporter at the Cleveland Plain Dealer (and earlier at the Minneapolis Star) leads us through the details of her victimization at the hands of a rapist and her journey to rebuild her shattered sense of self after the crime.
Joanna Connors was 30 years old when she walked into a darkened theater on an Ohio university campus and had a knife placed to her throat. She was assaulted repeatedly by a stranger who, thanks to Connors' quick reporting of the crime, was caught by police before he could rape again. Her tormentor was tried and convicted and sent into the Ohio prison system.
Connors buried the psychological scars of the attack for decades under layers of depression, denial, shame and post-traumatic stress. But 21 years later, a single moment on another university campus triggers her need to face her fears and learn about the man who changed her forever.
Her quest to re-create details of the trial and uncover her monster's back story takes us down a path littered with investigative and legal shortcomings, social injustices and racial polarities. Connors reports her findings in a journalistic and almost dispassionate voice. Yet her commentary is punctuated with drama: her family's talk of hiring a hit man, discovery of her rapist's unspeakable upbringing, and introductions to some of the damaged characters that shaped this man's world. She travels to the prisons that held her attacker and finally, in a cathartic undertaking, she returns to the scene of the crime.
Readers come away with a sense that, through researching and writing "I Will Find You," Connors has been able to banish some demons and start down a healthy path — one that leads to finding her own new self.
Her book is a study in healing and courage and should prove to be a resource for many of those touched by these terrible crimes.
GINNY GREENE, copy editor