3 Minnesota parents on why gun laws need to change now

A viral educator, a mom who fights for her son's memory and a hunting dad call on elected officials to make the country safer for kids.

April 22, 2023 at 8:48PM
Mothers who lost their children to gun violence gathered in St. Paul at a march and rally in 2021. (Jerry Holt, Star Tribune/The Minnesota Star Tribune)

The world we live in is a place where 9-year-olds and their educators could be shot and killed in the classroom, where graduating seniors could be gunned down at a sweet-16 birthday party, and where a star high school athlete could be shot in the legs while walking home with a friend.

We must not look away from the gun violence that has befallen children over the past month in cities like Nashville, Dadeville, Ala., and Minneapolis. And you don't have to remind a parent in the United States about the growing dangers. At least 77% of parents are at least somewhat concerned about gun violence, and most Americans overall are frustrated by the political debate around it, according to a new CBS News poll.

Twenty-four years after Columbine, parents are feeling powerless and outraged about this unacceptable status quo. Gun violence has changed how we parent and try to protect our children. It's also emboldened us to speak out and find common ground — of which there is plenty to go around — on the changes we are fighting to see happen.

I talked to three Minnesota parents who believe it's unfair that our children are at grave risk because of political inertia. Here are their words, edited for length and clarity.

Sharon McMahon

Sharon McMahon (Provided/The Minnesota Star Tribune)

Former high school government teacher, host of "Here's Where It Gets Interesting" podcast, nonpartisan Instagram educator, mother of four, 45, Duluth resident.

Everybody wants to believe it would never happen at their school. That's how we continue sending our kids every day — we feel it could never happen here. But as a longtime teacher, I know that's not true. So while I wouldn't say I wake up every morning in a cold sweat sending my children to school, it's in the back of my mind all the time.

It's galling when you know that we could do something about this and are choosing not to. This is not an earthquake or a tornado. This is within our control.

What frustrates me the most is the continued inaction, the number of children and teachers who have to be sacrificed on the altar of toxic levels of pride — elected officials who believe their way of thinking is so correct that they are unable and unwilling to entertain even the slightest alternative.

As the daughter of a veteran who died of combat-related illness and who was a hunter and a gun owner, I know that most Americans do not want to ban guns. The vast majority of Americans think that you do have the right to own a firearm to go deer or duck hunting or target shooting or to have personal protection in your home. That is not what is on the table here.

What we are advocating for are rules that will help modify behavior. We need common-sense gun laws that make it more difficult for an individual to gain access to high-capacity weapons that can kill large numbers of people in a short period of time.

A couple prayed at a makeshift memorial for victims of the deadly March 27 shooting at Covenant School in Nashville. (Johnnie Izquierdo, For The Washington Post/The Minnesota Star Tribune)

We need a dramatic increase in the availability of mental health services. There needs to be increased funding for school security, no question. And we need laws that disincentivize gun owners from leaving their weapons unsecured. I'm thinking about the 6-year-old who shot his teacher in Virginia. The parents should be held responsible.

Gun violence affected the way I taught. I can't tell you how many times we had code red drills: How do we get out of this classroom? What are we going to do if there's somebody in the hallway? As a parent, I'm teaching my kids what to do if they encounter a gun at a friend's house, what are responsible uses for a gun, and what to do in a school if a shooting happens.

No parent wants to have those conversations. No teacher wants to have those conversations. The fact that we continue to have those conversations because of a lack of action on the part of our leaders is upsetting.

Princess Titus

Educator, organizer, co-founder of Appetite for Change and Standard Edition Women, 48, mother of three, St. Paul resident.

In May 2021, during a peace walk addressing gun violence in the Twin Cities, Princess Titus carried a poster honoring her son Anthony, who was shot and killed at age 16 by a bullet intended for another teen. (Jerry Holt, Star Tribune/The Minnesota Star Tribune)

My son Anthony had no cavities. He was a hockey player. He was a skateboarder. He was in Trigonometry II as a freshman. He could have been an architect, an engineer or an astronaut. Anthony became an ancestor at the age of 16. I don't like to say he was murdered or killed. I will say he was hit by a bullet intended for another child.

There's an African proverb that says if the children don't feel the love from the village, they'll burn it down to feel the warmth. And I feel that's kind of where we are. Are our children feeling safe? Can they talk to us and receive compassion? Because if not, the streets are waiting on them to consume them.

I testified at the State Capitol with Sami [Rahamim, whose father, Reuven, was killed along with five others in the Accent Signage shooting in 2012]. I thought it was gonna make a difference. But that was 10 years ago, and it hasn't.

When Anthony passed away, 759 people came to my house. I had big sticky notes on the wall, and everybody wrote their names. We gave away teddy bears and peace bears, that they could give to someone else as a peace offering. In the spirit of Anthony, I created a nonprofit called Standard Edition Women where we offer healing circles, retreats and coaching for families impacted by gun violence.

Maybe you can't rectify the situation, but these are the grass-roots, in-house, kitchen-table efforts that need to happen while we're waiting for big legislation. We're waiting for the system to change.

Erik Jensen

Avid hunter, 53, custodian at the University of Minnesota, father of two, Minneapolis resident.

Erik Jensen and his wife, Paula Faraci, and daughters Nathalie and Theresa. (David J. Owen Photography/The Minnesota Star Tribune)

My family is in a complicated space. I have twin girls who are 18, and they go to South High in Minneapolis. They both know to use firearms. They're both hunters. Hunting is deeply central to my own personal identity. It's core to who I am. Firearms ownership, in that way, is central to who we are. But we have a very practical relationship with them.

We're not part of the group that sees guns as an expression of individuality, like how the AR-15 has become an expression of right-wing politics. But we're also put off by certain parts of the urban liberal culture that sees guns as inherently violent.

The school shootings are deeply disturbing and make you sick. I think about gun violence on a more general level because somebody was killed right in front of our house last year. We've had neighbors held up with firearms. One was robbed with an AR-15-style weapon. School shootings are the most awful example of gun violence, but in some ways they overshadow the daily gun violence that happens.

Where both the extreme left and extreme right meet is the thinking that "a gun is a gun is a gun." That's not true. Different firearms should be regulated differently. One thing that's bad about the current moment is we don't have people sitting down and negotiating. There needs to be that kind of grand bargain. I'll put a plug in for legislation that's being proposed in Minnesota, including requiring safe storage and more documentation with the transfer of weapons. There are good accommodations here because it's a gun-owning state that leans to the left.

Gun violence is atrocious. There's so much death that could easily be prevented. The boys are not all right. There's something going on with angry, isolated young men that's beyond guns.

But guns make their violent acting out more deadly. Guns make it easier for them to kill people. I have some hope that mainstream public opinion about legislation can win out.

about the writer

about the writer

Laura Yuen

Columnist

Laura Yuen, a Star Tribune features columnist, writes opinion as well as reported pieces exploring parenting, gender, family and relationships, with special attention on women and underrepresented communities. With an eye for the human tales, she looks for the deeper resonance of a story, to humanize it, and make it universal.

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