America today really is no country for old men

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America is getting older.

That was the snapshot given earlier this year by the U.S. Census Bureau. Our median age is about 40 and rising. In a third of the states, it's already higher.

Remember that, while also considering this: America's suicide rate in 2022 was the highest seen since 1941 — the tail end of the Great Depression.

The nation's suicide rate has steadily climbed since the turn of the century. A few years ago research that included these "deaths of despair" was recognized with a Nobel. The numbers are out there to diagnose the problem. But it's much harder to treat.

Here's what the data show: "Rising rates of suicide among people 35 or older." Men are about four times more likely to kill themselves than women are. The gap in life expectancy between men and women is increasing, and suicide has more to do with that widening gap than heart disease or homicides do.

Through the wonders of medicine, sanitation, fitness and nutrition, we are healthier and living longer. By 2060 nearly 1 in 4 Americans will be over 65.

The blessings of longevity come with challenges for the public and private sectors, such as the solvency of Social Security and the shortage of nurses in our hospitals and beds in our nursing homes.

There's also a challenge for the culture. We need to consider whether we are now devoting enough thought and conversation to what it means to grow older.

To quote Pierre Teilhard de Chardin: "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." With age, our bodies and our minds change; our strengths and weaknesses shift. This shouldn't be catastrophic to our underlying selves. For some, it is. For others, it can be loneliness that takes a spiritual toll. I think these are factors behind the rise in suicide rates among older adults.

When suicide is soaring among older adults and men, that also means a larger swath of society is touched by suicide.

It's critical to foster a culture in which expressing such vulnerability is OK. Without that shift, we are heading toward a society in which suicide among older men will be much more commonplace, as will the shattered lives often left behind.

Similarly, we need to change how we think about old age. It's important to acknowledge the effects of graying demographics on the federal budget and the labor force, but also on the human soul.

We can shape what aging means. As with most matters of the heart, it starts with communication, and it works best with compassion.

This is a time of year to keep that in mind in all our interactions. For some, the holidays are more stressful or sad than cheerful. Many keenly feel both the sorrows and the joys during this season. Nearly two-thirds of people with mental health issues say this time of year makes their condition worse.

It can be a lot.