Ask Amy: Aunt should tell her side of story

Dear Amy: I'm a 35-year-old woman. A few months ago, my brother (age 37) and sister-in-law caught me smoking pot in my home.

Now they won't let their kids (ages 6 and under) come over to my house. We used to have regular sleepovers once or twice a month.

We live in a state where marijuana is legal, and I was using it to manage my mental health. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder, which, it turns out, I have lived with (undiagnosed and untreated) since childhood.

As soon as I started medication, all aspects of my life changed for the better. I feel like I am waking up from a prolonged nightmare.

I would like to explain all of this to my brother in hopes of reconciling. However, my doctors tell me to stay away from them, because being around their judgmental and self-righteous attitude could trigger a relapse.

Should I let my close relationship with a sibling (and even closer relationship with his kids) come to an end? They haven't asked how I am doing, and they assume that addiction was at the root of all my problems.

I am used to not telling people my side of the story, but keeping these truths unspoken hurts more than I can express.

That being said, parents' primary job is to protect their children from harm, and for many people, that includes not tolerating smoking around their children. Parents also have a right to insist that people not be high, drunk or otherwise impaired around their children.

Your brother and sister-in-law forced this issue. You have a diagnosis, you're taking prescribed medication to manage your illness, and the overall result seems to be a very good one for you.

I'm not your — or anyone's — doctor, but the way you've presented this, it seems to be in everyone's best interest for you to communicate these positive changes in your life to your family members. You could do this in a letter or email, or in a supervised setting in your therapist's office.

I believe it could be extremely important for you to start to communicate honestly about your own situation.

Dear Amy: My friend "Thomas" is 50; I am 73. I've known him, like family, since he was 17.

I recently sent him a message that we needed to resolve this or we couldn't remain friends. I got no reply.

I'm so hurt and angry, but how do I let it go? We are no longer communicating. It's not about the money — I just feel stupid and taken advantage of.

Amy says: First of all, you are not stupid. You are generous, and, when asked, you extended your generosity toward someone you've known for decades.

You were also straightforward in telling Thomas that this matter needed to be settled.

The only judgment you should pass is toward Thomas, who has dug himself into a deep hole and now has lost a friend because of his actions.