Ask Amy: Is it time to rekindle romance?

Dear Amy: My friend "Brian" passed away three years ago. I was friends with Brian and his wife, "Marcia," for more than 40 years.

Before she developed a relationship with Brian, Marcia and I were very close friends. We never dated. We just liked each other's company and had fun "hanging out" together. After a while, she wanted more from the relationship, but I was not ready for a long-term commitment, and shortly afterward, I moved to another state for a job.

I was very happy when Brian and Marcia married; they had a great marriage, and raised two beautiful and successful children. I also married and had children.

I am now in my retirement years, divorced, with grown children. I have been thinking quite often about Marcia, but I don't know how to approach her to see if she has any interest in rekindling the old feelings she had for me.

Over the years I regretted not pursuing her. I was too young and too stupid. Now I see it like this: Life is too short to not try to make yourself happy.

It feels wrong for me to even think about trying to date her because she was married to my good friend. If the situation were different, I would want a close friend to be with my widow, knowing that he would be good to her.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Amy says: I have little advice for you, other than to encourage you to pursue rekindling a relationship with someone you've known and liked for decades.

You don't note whether you have kept in close touch with Marcia over these past three years, but in my opinion, three years after a loss might present the right moment to make your move.

Life is short — but love is long. I wish you all the best.

Dear Amy: My mother recently asked my 13-year-old daughter and my 16-year-old niece if they would get matching tattoos with her once they turn 18. I do not approve of this and am wondering how I should go about telling my mother that this is not acceptable.

It seems she wants to be the cool grandma that all the grandchildren adore. While I want my kids to be close to my mother, I do not feel it is appropriate for her to suggest to them that they get matching tattoos with her.

I understand that what my children do when they are adults is up to them, but they aren't adults yet, and I do not want my mother suggesting what they should do.

Am I wrong to be disappointed in my mother? How should I approach her?

Amy says: The "cool granny" is a thing now. I've always thought the best thing about being a grandparent is that you don't have to try so hard to be cool.

Your mother obviously is eager to relate to the young people in her life, and I say: good for her. But if getting body art is against a value you maintain in your family, you should be honest about it. Tell her.

Depending on where you live, you also could point out that many states — including Minnesota — have laws against tattooing anyone under 18, even with parental or guardian consent.

You very wisely understand that your child can make her own decision regarding tattoos when she is older. For now, you can tell her, "I think this idea is strange, and I wish you wouldn't do it. But that will be up to you when you're older."

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.