Dear Amy: I learned how to cook from my mother, grandmother and aunts. In a Latin family like mine, it was a given that women learned to cook. And I loved being among these wise ladies.

Fast-forward to now. I am married to a wonderful man. Although he's not Latin, he has fully embraced my family and culture.

He comes from a small family, and his mother likes having everyone over for dinner. The problem is that she cannot cook, and she has no interest in learning.

There are family members (including my husband) who get physically sick after eating one of her meals. The poultry is burned on the outside and raw inside. Plus, nothing she serves has any flavor.

I've tried bringing over a side dish, but she takes offense. A cookbook that was given to her is collecting dust. And she declines all offers to help in the kitchen.

How do we tell this woman that her cooking is making us sick without offending her?

Amy says: Whatever message is delivered, you should not be the person to do it. You are justifiably proud of your culinary tradition, but you are dealing with someone who did not grow up in that same tradition and quite obviously will not embrace it.

No one should consume food that is not safe to eat. Your husband should ask, "Mom, could you cook this longer? I'm not sure this is cooked through."

The best idea is for you to demonstrate that you can create in your own home the generous, loving, hospitable and lively culinary tradition that you grew up with.

Invite your mother-in-law to your home for meals, and let her know that if she is nervous about eating your food, she can bring her own, but that you always will set a place for her, because, as you know, love and kindship surrounding the table are the most important ingredients of all.

Request denied

Dear Amy: I have 40 years of sobriety and meeting experience.

I recently asked a church in my hometown for permission to have meetings there. I was sent a letter stating that there were not any rooms available. I know this is a lie because they just added on to the church two years ago.

I know I cannot change their decision, but why would a church say no to people who make up 15% of their congregation? I feel discriminated against.

Amy says: You seem to be making a lot of assumptions about the availability of this particular space, as well as the motivations of the people who turned you down.

The church's refusal might be because of a booking conflict with another organization, or because they can't afford the cost of the personnel required to keep the building open and heated off-hours.

Accusing them of lying is unwise and unkind. There are options for meetings in other spaces, as well as online (AA.org).

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.