Dear Amy: I am a single woman in my mid-50s. I never married or had children and like it this way.
I enjoy people, but am a classic introvert who recuperates her energy by being alone. I enjoy going to museums and restaurants on my own.
Recently, I went to a nearby restaurant by myself and sat at the bar to have a drink and maybe eat something. I wasn’t there for long when a man sat beside me and struck up a conversation. I really didn’t want to talk to him, but I stayed polite, and after an hour or so, I said goodnight and left.
This week I again went to this restaurant by myself. This time I decided to sit at a table, hoping not to be approached by strangers. For the first time in my life, a man came up to my small, two-person table, pulled out the opposite chair and sat down to join me without even asking or introducing himself.
The waiter arrived with my food just as this man had taken up an uninvited place at my table. I asked the server to box up the food to go because I didn’t want to eat with this stranger sitting at my table. I was super annoyed.
How would you suggest handling men who approach a woman who is not interested?
Amy says: If you want to drink or dine alone and not engage in lengthy conversation, you have the right to do that.
If you are at the bar and someone (man or woman) sits down next to you and wants to engage in conversation, you can say, “I’m going to eat here, so let me give you some extra room” and move to a different seat. Make eye contact with the bartender to let them know you’re moving.
