Dear Amy: My husband, "Don," battled substance abuse and addictions, major depression, anxiety and severe sleep apnea. Don and I also had relationship issues.

In April, I learned that he had once again stolen my prescribed pain medication. I became angry with him, said harsh words and asked him to pack his belongings and leave.

Instead, he shot himself.

This is all still quite fresh to me. I am often asked, "How did your husband pass away?" I find that an incredibly intrusive question, even if he hadn't died from suicide.

I'd like your advice on how best to respond to those questions.

Amy says: As a public service announcement, I'm going to remind people not to inquire about a person's cause of death. In my (sadly extensive) experience, grieving survivors will often volunteer this information on their own after condolences are offered and they are feeling more comfortable. If this information isn't offered, don't ask.

In response to this question, you can say a version of: "I'm not ready to talk about it."

My nephew died by suicide at age 17, several years ago. It would take volumes for me to pour out my own sense of loss and sadness. Many days I simply feel robbed of the opportunity to continue to know my nephew, who will now always remain his teenage self in my memory.

There is no universal experience of grief. I wish there was, because then we might come up with a universal answer for it. For me, Robert Frost's great line often comes to mind: "The best way out is always through."

Two important books have helped me to understand the complexities of suicide: "An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness," by Kay Redfield Jamison, and "The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression," by Andrew Solomon.

There is help and support for people in crisis. Dialing 988 will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. In addition, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE.org) has a helpful list of support groups for suicide loss survivors.

Like it or leave it

Dear Amy: My adult stepdaughter, whom I dearly love, uses the word "like" almost every third or fourth word.

She is smart, beautiful and a professional, but her speech pattern lends a different impression.

I have mentioned this to her a couple of times, and it bothers me to do so, but observing others' reactions (it is that noticeable) makes me sad. I don't want to alienate her, but is there anything I can do to help?

Amy says: You've already brought this up. Now it's her father's turn.

If he corrects her (privately), she might turn to you to complain about him. That's when you can say, "This habit distracts from your awesomeness. Can I help in some way?" (Recording herself on video will alert her to this verbal tic.)

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.