Dear Amy: My best friend, "Maria," and I are both 14. Recently, Maria revealed to me that a tendency of mine annoys her.
She and I have very similar interests, and so we try out for similar things in school. Maria has been practicing the whole year to try out for the field hockey team. I also plan on trying out for the team, with no experience, really just because it looks fun.
Every time the subject of tryouts comes up, Maria gives other friends a look, and then looks back at me. This obviously bothers her. After a couple of weeks of this, I asked her about it, and she explained that she found it annoying that everything she does, I do, and I usually come out on top.
She mentioned volleyball tryouts, where I made the team, and she didn't. Then she moved on to the subject of boys, where one guy she liked started talking to me and never talked to her again. (Also, student elections, which we both plan on running for next year.)
She further explained that although none of that is technically my fault, it annoys her when I talk about them. So now I don't know what I can talk about with her.
Discontinuing the friendship is not an option, so how should I go about this?
Amy says: It is challenging to be bested by your bestie, and surely you can see why Maria finds your excellence annoying. Does this mean that you need to stop excelling or to alter your own plans? No!
Girls sometimes have a way of diminishing or apologizing for their own strengths and successes in order to protect the egos of their friends. I hope you won't do that.