Dear Eric: I’m pretty sure I should seek therapy. As a longtime first responder with probable PTSD, plus recent marital issues and the recent deaths of a number of close loved ones, I feel the need to speak to an unbiased third party.
I’m not comfortable speaking with my spouse or friends because I’m the one they all come to, and they see me as the one who has it all together. This is so untrue. I have self-esteem issues, and I’m always worried about being seen as “less than.”
I know how ridiculous this sounds to others (and they’ve told me this), but it’s real to me. Please help.
Eric says: You’re going through a lot. I’m sorry for the loss of your loved ones and for the pressure you’re feeling. I want to assure you that, even though it may not feel like it, you’re taking the right steps.
If you can, try to front-load this fear in initial conversations with a therapist. It empowers your therapist to provide you with the kind of guidance and care that will help you rewrite that narrative.
Thank you for what you do to care for others. Try to give yourself and your healing the same compassion and grace as you heal.
Time to cut back
Dear Eric: I received a “Christmas wish list” from one of my husband’s adult children. This person is in their late 40s, married and living in a two-income household. They have three children, one of whom is a college graduate with a thriving career of their own.
We are in our 70s and trying to scale back as we prepare to retire. The wish list consisted of items over twice what we can reasonably afford. I feel like this child thinks of us as a cash stream and we are being shaken down. None one else in the family has done this.
