Asking Eric: Wife spills friend’s secret

Dear Eric: One day, a friend of ours, “Ed,” shared something very sensitive and embarrassing with my wife and me and asked for advice. He also asked us not to tell anyone, and, of course, we both swore to secrecy.

One week later, one of my wife’s oldest and closest friends came to visit, and my wife proceeded to tell her about Ed’s predicament. When we were alone later, I asked my wife why she broke her promise of secrecy. She responded by saying, “My BFFs and I tell each other everything, and we all keep everything to ourselves, so nobody’s ever going to hear about it.”

While BFF and Ed do not know each other, they know of one another by name and there’s a slight chance their paths will cross at some point or another.

When I asked her if we should go back and ask Ed if it was OK to share his predicament with her BFFs, my wife got angry and said there was no reason to upset him. I then thanked her for validating my point. What say you?

Eric says: When you swear to not tell anyone a piece of information, there’s not a lot of fine print. I can’t imagine Ed meant “don’t tell anyone except your best friends whom I don’t know but have been assured are good secret-keepers.”

Your wife took Ed’s predicament and turned it into gossip. Even if nothing bad comes of it, she betrayed the trust he put in her.

Dear Eric: I belong to a homeowners association and pay monthly dues out of which “lawn care” is deducted monthly.

The lawn care employees refuse to maintain my lawn. The company owner said that he “had informed all of his employees not to set foot on my property”. This started last year when I complained to the owner that his employees chopped down my flowers.

I contacted the HOA president, who referred me to the property manager, who has not rectified the problem.

I am elderly, on a fixed income and cannot afford to hire another lawn care company, especially when I’m already paying for the services of the current one. What can I do?

Rick says: First, talk to your neighbors and ask them to advocate on your behalf to the HOA. They likely are not happy that your lawn is not being maintained,

I’d give up on trying to reason with the lawn care company. I wish I knew more about the way your disagreement began and escalated. But regardless, he has a contract with the HOA. And the HOA, in turn, has a contract with you.

You should request a meeting with the full board. Try to have a respectful but productive conversation, remembering that the board is made up of volunteers. Ask how they plan to rectify this and what their timetable is.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110.