Brooks: At last, English is the official language of the United States of Some Italian Guy’s First Name

Another day, another executive order from the Trump administration.

We asked for cheaper eggs, we got a declaration in English that English is the official language of the United States.

“Establishing English as the official language,” President Donald Trump assured the nation on Saturday, “will not only streamline communication but also reinforce shared national values, and create a more cohesive and efficient society.”

The idea that a society’s coherence and efficiency is measured by how few languages its citizens are exposed to could come as a shock here in the United States of Some Italian Guy’s First Name.

Amerigo Vespucci really put the “A” in U.S.A., with an assist from the German cartographer who named our continent.

Most of our states took their names from other languages, or far-off places, or distant monarchs who never set foot on our shores. Half the states were named by the people who were here first.

Our history is written across our map, and that history was never just written in English.

But Trump wants English, so let’s get translating. We wouldn’t want to risk incoherence and inefficiency.

Buckle up, readers of the Land Where the Water Reflects the Sky Star Tribune. That’s who we’d be if we used Trump’s words, instead of the name the Dakota gave this place, Mnísota.

If we were being English about it, we wouldn’t say the president went golfing again at Mar-a-Lago in Florida. We’d call it what it is: the Sea-to-Lake resort on a peninsula Spanish explorers called “the place of flowers.”

Texas means “friend” in several tribal languages. The lieutenant governor of this friend-shaped state is campaigning to change the name of New York strip steak to Texas strip steak; even though that would involve exchanging two English words for one non-English word. Not very MAGA.

Five decades ago, the Bureau of Indian Affairs came up with a list of the name origins of the states. That list now carries a Trump administration warning label due to diversity, inclusiveness and mention of languages that include, but are not limited to, Latin, Algonquin and Dutch.

Our 50 states give us 50 reasons why America is better and richer because of all the people, all the cultures and all the languages that made us who we are.

The Choctaw gave Alabama its name, built out of their words for “vegetation gatherers” or “thicket clearers.”

The explorers who braved the tides off Narragansett Bay named Rhode Island for us. There’s some debate whether it was an Italian who thought a little island in the bay looked like the Mediterranean Isle of Rhodes, or a Dutch explorer who called it Roodt Eyelandt, or “red island.”

Iowa was named for the Ioway tribe; although they called themselves the Báxoje, the people of the gray snow. Ohio is an Iroquois word meaning "good river." Nevada is the Spanish word for “snowfall.” Louisiana was named for a king of France. Maryland was named for a queen of England. “Idaho” may be a word somebody just made up.

Why would we give up even one of the languages that built this country, never mind all but one?