Fancy Ray's kid is not a chip off the old noisy block

Fancy Ray McCloney's son, Trevon, could be called the "anti-Fancy."

The Twin Cities and the world may have lucked out here. Trevon does not behave, talk or look like his dad, the commercial pitchman, purveyor of bad poetry and self-proclaimed "Best Looking Man in Comedy." But Trevon loves his dad, who is headlining St. Paul's Joke Joint Comedy Club May 19-21.

For me, it was so refreshing to see Trevon pause and allow moments of silence before answering questions. His daddy pounces on questions.

Are you ever getting married?

"When you marry me," said Fancy Ray.

It can be reported here, dear readers, that Fancy Ray is never, ever getting married.

No wonder people are confused about his stage name.

"People sometimes walk up to me and say, Crazy Ray? I tell them No. It's Fancy Ray, not Crazy."

Six of one …

For my part, my relationship with Fancy Ray has been based on brutal honesty in print and in person. The only time I sheathed my tongue was when he asked me to host "Fancy Ray's 20th Anniversary of Comedy TV Special." Friends told me to feel honored and behave, since Fancy Ray was paying to have this show produced. (It first aired on local cable in 2013 and continues to haunt me, thanks to YouTube. By the way, I'm not looking at the right camera when it opens because of a technical problem that is not my fault.)

All the gibes aside (Google C.J.'s Cyber Jabber and Fancy Ray), the one area of Fancy Ray's life for which I have the utmost respect is how he responded to unplanned fatherhood. Fancy Ray was in that boy's life, dragging that kid everywhere.

Mother of Trevon, I've met you and have forgotten your name. I sent word for you to call me for this column. Didn't hear from you, and I suspect that's because Fancy Ray thinks it best that we not become chummy. I wanted to publicly acknowledge your enormous input into what a nice fellow Trevon is and thank you for being the obvious source of his soft-spoken, even placid, demeanor.

My only beef is that this boy isn't in college. Currently working at a pizza chain and supplementing that income with an online retail venture, Trevon, 21, just earned his GED. He's unsure about college.

"I love that boy," said Fancy Ray. "There is potential greatness in that young man. Hopefully, he has seen what I have and can make that bloom. It's up to him, as it is all of us to create our best life."

Every time I've been with Fancy Ray and Trevon, the kid's been delightful.

Even this time, when they finally gave me a unicycle riding lesson. The other part of the interview shtick called for Fancy Ray, still over the moon about being in a Super Bowl commercial for Taco Bell, to SHUT UP and sit quietly while Trevon answered my questions.

Ha!

Q: Has your Dad's ego gotten out of control since he was in that Taco Bell commercial?

A: No. I think he's been pretty humble and modest about it.

Ray: [See the video for Ray's rantings …]

Q: The shtick is that your dad's supposed to be sitting quietly. How well do you think that's going to work, Trevon?

A: We'll find out.

Ray: [Laughing] I'll let Trevon do the talking.

Q: What do you admire about your dad?

A: His ability to talk to anyone. He never gets nervous about speaking.

Q: What do you like least about him?

A: He's scared to get his hair wet. [Ray laughs.] Scared to go swimming, scared to jog.

Q: At what age did you realize that your daddy was paying more attention to his hair than your mom did and that's the opposite of how it should be?

A: Actually, a pretty young age. Probably 5 or 6, I thought something was a little peculiar.

Ray: He's been to a lot of beauty salon appointments with me.

Q: How many beauty salon appointments do you think you've been to in your life?

A: More than I can count on my two hands.

Ray: And there is no bigger pleasure than watching Fancy Ray under a hair dryer.

Q: How long does he spend at these hair appointments?

A: Maybe two hours.

Q: Do you remember the time your daddy was performing on stage and he told the audience people think he's gay?

A: I have a slight recollection.

Ray: You're going back. I'm a little fuzzy on that joke, too. I said, "Do people think I'm gay?" and Tre yells out, Yes! People looked back and that was the most thunderous laugh of the whole evening. I remember this part. We're walking out of the club and I'm asking, "Do you think I'm gay?" Yes! "Do you think I'm gay?" Yes! and he's cracking himself up [because] he got so much attention. Then we get into the car and he goes, What's gay?

Q: Your dad calls himself the Human Chocolate Orchid, which I think is just gross. What's your favorite flower?

A: A rose, I guess. I'm not really into flowers.

Ray: I thought you were going to say orchid. I'm disappointed.

Q: When you were a little boy and your daddy would embarrass you, what kind of work did you wish he was in instead?

A: Something less exciting, I guess.

Q: What have you learned about dating from watching your daddy with women?

A: May I pass on that one? [Smile] I think my answer would be inappropriate. I've got my own style, my own ways.

Q: At what age did your dad have the sex talk with you?

A: Young, like 13, 14.

Q: That's late, isn't it?

Ray: Late, man. I talked to you about it before that. I'm still talking to him about it.

Q: Yes. What do you do before having a baby, Trevon?

A: I don't know.

Q: Your parents didn't do it …

A: Oh, get married.

Ray: That's what you do before you have a baby.

Trevon: I'm going to see what happens.

Q: No, we won't see what happens. We make sure we know what happens. You're careful.

A: For sure. [And something inaudible]

Q: Tell me something about your dad I'd find shocking?

A: [Long pause] He talks so much, I think you know it all. [Gentle laughter] There are really no secrets.

Interviews are edited. To contact C.J. try cj@startribune.com, and to see her, watch FOX 9's "Jason Show"