A note written across my typed list of questions for KARE11's Sven Sundgaard read: Lift him.
The video (startribune.com/video) of me trying to lift Sundgaard off the ground would go viral while I was in the hospital having back surgery.
"Don't do that," said Sundgaard, who is nothing but muscles. "A heavily intoxicated girl at Pride tried to do that and I'm like, 'I really don't think this is …' and she was a big girl, tall. She fell right away and I was scared to death she was injured but she was fine. People are a little braver when they've been drinking."
During our lunch at Victor's 1959 Cafe, Sundgaard only hydrated the temple of his body with water. At my request, he brought along his Yorkie Dyna Rose, who slaked from water in a dog dish provided by a 1959 staffer. I brought along a surprise — Island Sven, the ornament anonymously mailed to me in January 2012 by one of Sundgaard's fans.
I was worried about breaking Island Sven, normally kept in bubble wrap at the office, but I thought this was the time to take that risk.
"I think he looks better," said Sundgaard, whose flawless body is like a brand-new pair of white bucks to me. Hear me out, now. Whenever I see a man in those shoes looking unspoiled, I fantasize about scuffing them. Of course, Sven has too many fans, some of whom were dining at the restaurant, for me to even contemplate marring the cuteness wrapped in handsomeness that is his huskiness.
Instead I informed him in advance that he would be eating carb-laden dessert. We shared the Pina Colada Cake and Xango Chango, aka, the fried cheesecake bites.
No physique was harmed in this consumption because it was accounted for on the spreadsheet Sundgaard uses to count calories! That kind of discipline means Sundgaard will be wedding cake top ready should he and the greatest love he's ever had start feeling matrimonial.