C.J.: Madson gets ready to strut his stuff in charity dance-off

Brad Madson's hips don't lie -- or apparently move that much at all.

We have video -- www.startribune.com/a1075 -- of the Vikings community relations guy practicing for Saturday's "Dancing With the Twin Cities Celebrities" charity event at the Minneapolis Hilton. Madson's dance partner is Arthur Murray Dance Studios professional Kelly Lyke, who was punished at this event last year when assigned to teach KSTP-TV's sports anchor Joe Schmit how to dance. Schmit memorably demonstrated his impressive walnut-smashing footwork while dressed like a "Matador": see www.startribune.com/a1076.

When Madson's attention was called to his lack of hip action in the video posted on YouTube.com, he said: "Hey, as one of the more seasoned celebrities, I need to save all the explosive hip thrusts for the actual performance!"

You read it here first -- Brad Madson has "explosive hip thrusts"!

Madson and retired LA Galaxy defender Tony Sanneh, now of the Sanneh Foundation, are two single men whose dancing should attract several scouting reports.

Madson said Lyke has been very patient, trying to thaw moves that seem frozen as he dances to Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby."

Lyke has been working assiduously to get Madson into character as a "strutting rapper" for their performance.

"There's a pretty cool energy at the Edina studio. All the Arthur Murray folks have been so encouraging," said Madson, who sounds hooked. "Am I going to stick with it? I have to. I went out and bought $175 Capezio dance shoes, the Air Jordans of the ballroom dance scene. Can't let that investment go to waste."

'SNL' lampoons Prince "Prince" and "Bon Iver" were among the celebrities who came to visit baby Blue Ivy in a "Saturday Night Live" skit.

Former "SNL" cast member Maya Rudolph, guest hosting, played Beyoncé to Jay Pharoah's Jay Z. Fred Armisen was incandescent as usual in the role of Prince, playing him as a scaredy-cat sent hiding behind the baby's bassinet when frightened by a Nicki Minaj lullaby.

Before the lullaby, Beyoncé illustrated one of the pitfalls of giving your child a name that's a title: "Uncle Prince brought you a present. Baby, your present is a smirk."

After successfully lampooning Symbolina's weirdness, "SNL" was off to take on another Midwestern act, the Grammy-winning pride of Eau Claire, Wis., indie band Bon Iver, led by Justin Vernon.

"We were just about to put our baby to sleep," Beyoncé told Bon Iver, who said, "Trust me, this will help." The song was so dull it put Bon Iver to sleep while he was singing it.

During the closing credits, Timberlake made up for calling Bon Iver boring by holding up a sign that read: "I [Heart] Bon Iver." See www.startribune.com/a1077.

Trump on Tiegs' firing Cheryl Tiegs had way more business being on NBC's "Celebrity Apprentice" than Wendy Williams did being on ABC's "Dancing With the Stars."

But that's not how Williams played it Tuesday, when Donald Trump was on her show to talk briefly about Tiegs' being the first fired off his reality show on Sunday night.

"I agreed with what she thought," Williams said, "and that is she just wasn't fit for that kind of [in-your-face egotistical behavior] that you have to exact [she meant exhibit] when you're on 'Celebrity Apprentice.' She's like a fish with no teeth. I'm saying she's not mean."

Williams also tried to fire up comedian Lisa Lampanelli, who strangely was a wallflower in the first "Apprentice" episode

"Lisa Lampanelli, I just need you to step up and be the Lisa that we know -- although that's what people said about me with 'Dancing With the Stars,'" Williams said.

Williams didn't need to step up -- she needed to step off the dance floor, because she showed all the elegance and grace of a Great Dane puppy on skates.