We know your heart is ready for some football! Now what about your stomach?
That's the gist of what this gridiron dinosaur took away from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's letter to fans on the eve of training camps opening Tuesday.
Roger, of course, checked Box No. 1 by assuring us, again, that safety is the league's No. 1 priority. Gotcha.
Then he told us the league's COVID-19 game plan was crafted by the nation's leading experts. That won't make a Canadian feel any better, but OK, cool.
Then the commish used a deft touch of corporate varnish to subtly shift gears and suggest y'all might need to brace yourselves for some seriously unpleasant stuff as long as Da Boss, COVID-19, is in a bad mood.
"Adaptability and flexibility will be needed for the foreseeable future," Goodell wrote. "After all, even the best game plan changes as new challenges arise."
That's Skipper code for, "Hang on, Gilligan. There's a storm brewin'."
Can the NFL adapt and plow through a crisis of attrition, grabbing bodies off the street to fill rosters looking for the ninth next man up? Sure. In 1987, it played three replacement games on short notice using beer-league quarterbacks and tackles on temporary leave from driving trucks.