Gary Kubiak, the 59-year-old Super Bowl-winning head coach and offensive sage Mike Zimmer called the "best thing" that's happened to him in Minnesota, started laughing long before a reporter finished painting for him a hypothetical portrait of his future five months from now.
What if, Gary, a certain purple-clad team playing in its 60th season were to win its first Super Bowl in this, the most bizarre of 101 NFL seasons? And what if the Vikings offense outperformed last year's eighth-ranked scoring attack, and Kirk Cousins went to another level a year after posting a career-high 107.4 passer rating, good for fourth in the league?
And finally, Gary, what if another team looked toward the Upper Midwest for a certain assistant head coach/offensive coordinator to become its next head coach?
"Nope!" said the man who cited his well-publicized health problems for leaving the head coaching ranks after the 2016 season. "I am not going back to that. Teams might be looking, but tell them, 'Don't call me.' Maybe call my wife."
There was more laughter because Rhonda Kubiak might be the only person who's happier that Gary is perfectly happy toiling in the relative background as successor to former mentee Kevin Stefanski and old-school yang to Zimmer's defensive-minded ying.
"From the family's perspective, just excited that he's getting back to what he loves to do," said Klint Kubiak, the oldest of Gary's three sons and his quarterbacks coach. "But it's also a breath of fresh air he hasn't jumped back into a stress-filled environment."
NFL coordinator and gameday play-caller isn't exactly stress-free. But …
"There isn't enough time for me to describe the difference [in stress level] between being a coordinator and a head coach," Kubiak said. "Unless you've been a head coach, it's hard to explain. But there is a big, big difference. I can tell you that."