Dear Prudence: I am a professional man who is generally confident, but I am wondering about the etiquette of asking my dentist on a date. She is funny, kind, charming and seems to be a wonderful person. Is it OK to ask, or do I just have to hope I run into her in the grocery store one day?
Prudence says: It's a tribute to her skills, or your teeth, that you find yourself hoping to get her fingers out of your mouth so you can get to know her better. Of course, when you have a saliva ejector hanging off your lip, you're not at your best, so it's good you haven't said anything while trapped in her chair.
There is no reason you can't ask her, but depending on her romantic status, her reaction to you and her views of proper dentist-patient interaction, be prepared to be turned down.
The American Dental Association's code of ethics and conduct says: "Dentists should avoid interpersonal relationships that could impair their professional judgment or risk the possibility of exploiting the confidence placed in them by a patient."
That sounds like a lot of leeway. I suggest you ask her in a note -- with a big "Personal" across the envelope -- and send it to her office. Give her your e-mail address and say that if for whatever reason she can't take you up on your offer, you look forward to seeing her for your next check-up and you will continue to floss daily.
Send questions to prudence@slate.com.
