DNC cable coverage is wall-to-wall bloviation

Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper, co-captains of CNN's coverage of the Democratic National Convention, have spent more than a few idle moments from the Pepsi Center floor poking fun at the competition, bragging about their superior coverage and heralding each teensy-weensy scoop as if they just discovered oil. By Thursday, there's a chance they might just pull down their pants and moon the skyboxes above.

This type of behavior might be acceptable at the hotel bar after a few rounds, but as part of a live broadcast, it's unseemly, unprofessional -- and a clear indication of just how desperate and childish the "news wars" have become.

In the first few days of reporting, CNN, MSNBC and Fox News have provided little justification for around-the-clock chitchat. The major speeches and discussions don't get started until early evening, which means TV journalists spend most of the day in a giant hall void of everyone but technicians and each other.

That means hours and hours of commentators speculating and spinning to each other about some e-mail that just got zapped into one of their cell phones. Quite frankly, after 48 hours of this, I'd rather hear from Teddy the electrician.

Blitzer's perch on the convention floor would suggest that CNN might have more access and insight than anyone else, but the only thing I've learned from that angle is that there are a lot of people milling around who look like they have to go to the bathroom.

Fox News filled a considerable amount of its airtime trying to latch on to a juicy story, even -- or maybe, especially -- if they were part of it.

They leaped on Fox News Radio host Griff Jenkins's claims that he got "roughed up" by DNC protesters. The footage that accompanies his, um, unorthodox interviewing style (walking head-on into an approaching march and blabbering loudly) shows that it's possible that someone might be responsible for a slight bump, in which case that perpetrator should be immediately sentenced to five hours of "The O'Reilly Factor."

The networks are only dedicating an hour of prime-time coverage every night, and so far that seems to be just about right. Monday's speeches by Michelle Obama and Ted Kennedy fit nicely into that slot (although Kennedy's emotional appearance was shown on tape-delay), leaving the anchors little time to fill space with nonsense.

Of course, Americans were eager to soak up the suspense, sitting at the edge of their couches to see just how the main event went and what was ... in the briefcase. Yep, we're talking about Monday's edition of "Deal or No Deal," which drew more viewers than the convention coverage of the three networks combined.

Just don't tell anyone at CNN. If they catch on, by the time everyone arrives in St. Paul, it may just be "The Situation Room With Model No. 7."