Douglas: My weather machine is malfunctioning

I want to apologize for my Costco Space Laser. I was told it would end our drought but no luck. The truth: If I could modify the weather it would be sunny and 70 year-round.

With crazy rumors of government weather modification involving HAARP (a research program in Alaska that studies the highest reaches of Earth’s atmosphere) and “chemtrails” after Hurricanes Helene and Milton, NOAA said: “No one creates or steers hurricanes; the technology does not exist.”

On rare occasions, cloud seeding can increase snowfall amounts a few percent over western U.S. mountains. Create a storm? That’s fiction.

It’s ironic that burning fossil fuels since the start of the Industrial Revolution has emitted roughly 1.5 trillion tons of climate-warming CO2 into the atmosphere, which is flavoring all weather now. Sadly, that is not a conspiracy theory.

I see enough rain to settle the dust Thursday, then sunshine Friday into the weekend. Expect 60s and 70s early next week, then cooling off into the 50s in time for Halloween, which looks dry this year. Expect our mild bias to spill into early November.