In Duluth, hundreds walk in candlelight vigil to honor slain family

DULUTH – The Nephews’ home was uncharacteristically dark on Wednesday evening, without even the omnipresent light from off the back deck, where the late Kat Ramsland had kept her beloved plants.

But the yard was aglow with the candles and tea lights of the hundreds of people who gathered for a walk to remember the members of two families recently killed.

It’s been a week since Ramsland, 45, and her son, Oliver Nephew, 7, were found dead in their home across the street from Denfeld High School. Earlier that same day, the bodies of Erin Abramson, 47, and her son, Jacob Nephew, 15, were discovered in their home on Tacony Street.

All had been shot to death.

The body of their apparent killer, 46-year-old Tony Nephew — Ramsland’s husband and Abramson’s former husband — lay near his dead wife and son. He apparently had turned the gun on himself.

Wednesday’s quiet walking vigil was organized by neighbors and covered the nearly milelong route between the victims’ homes in West Duluth. At both stops, the names of the victims were said, bells chimed and sky lanterns were lit in their memory.

“No one knows what to do,” said one of the organizers, Ramsland’s neighbor Lindsey Jungman.

They’ve found comfort in tending to Oliver Nephew’s gift library in the side yard, a spot he made for passersby to take a gift or leave one. The neighbors have been making sure the recent surge of donations, stuffed animals and toys have stayed dry. By the end of the memorial walk, tiny lights lined the space.

City Councilor Janet Kennedy, Mayor Roger Reinert and Police Chief Mike Ceynowa were among the walkers. Abramson’s running group wore glow-in-the-dark neon. Former art students of Ramsland, who taught at Lake Superior College, chatted among themselves about her favorite drink — iced caramel macchiatos. Squad cars from the Duluth Police Department, lights activated, led the flood of walkers through the streets and blocked intersections.

Joining the vigil were members of Twin Ports Ghostbusters. They dress in tan jumpsuits, drive a variation on the movie’s Ectomobile and raise money for the Ronald McDonald House; Oliver Nephew was an honorary member, with his own tan uniform. Dawn Jensen held a photo of the boy, showing him with a big grin and taken during a parade in Superior, Wis.

The Ghostbusters crew met Oliver when it was invited to his sixth birthday party — the sort of Oliver Nephew event that turned into a block party. He was known for knee-high hugs and his red curls — a one-kid welcome wagon.

“He was part of the family ever since,” said Jeremy Dickson.

Up a steep incline to Abramson’s house, her running friends talked about the city of Superior employee’s devotion to early-morning outings, although she sometimes could be coaxed into a later run. She kept meticulous schedules and kindly encouraged everyone.

“Erin was fierce,” said Bettina Keppers.

And when her sky lantern struggled to clear the top of the house, someone in the crowd jokingly admonished their old friend. “Erin!” they said, met with little laughs.

Jacob Nephew was a student at Marshall School, where he was involved with orchestra, the Knowledge Bowl and Nordic ski teams, Chess Club and environmental advocacy. His mother missed no opportunities to take him on adventures, her friends said.

Tony Nephew, 46, was open about his struggles with mental health. In addition to a column he wrote about the dangers in 2021 for the Duluth News Tribune, he and Ramsland had solicited the community’s help with medical bills. In an online fundraiser, he addressed how, after two years of heavy drinking, he quit on his own without medical support, a decision that led to an episode of alcoholic psychosis and hospitalization.

“I am now nearly a year sober, and while I have met that personal goal, I and my family are now left with a medical bill that will take us years to pay off,” he wrote. “In treatment, we talked a lot about shame, and how it can prevent you from reaching out for help.

“I am ashamed, and asking for help.”

Ramsland’s obituary describes her as an artist who saw beauty everywhere. She was dedicated to finding four-leaf clovers and loved anime, plants, Godzilla and those iced caramel macchiatos. She was known to be loyal, too.

“She was always drawn to those struggling to find their place in the world,” according to her obituary.

Oliver Nephew was well-known among his neighbors, even at the nearby Kwik Trip, where his curly red hair — once cut into a mohawk — was a common sight. Last weekend, regulars mourned his death.

In his obituary, he’s described as “lightning in human form.”

Tony Nephew is remembered in both obituaries, but what he did is not lost.

“Oliver loved and looked up to his father, Anthony Nephew, who ended Oliver’s life at age seven,” according to Oliver’s obituary.

In Ramsland’s, she’s described as “steadfast in her love and support” of Nephew, whom she married in 2014.

“He took her life on November 7, 2024,” it says in the next line.