Q: My ex cheated and broke up our family. By the time I left, I was pretty disgusted with his antics. My ex was awful during the breakup and made our adult children choose with whom they would spend Christmas. This holiday is different. He is texting me that he wants me back, and my kids are putting pressure on me to take him seriously. What's good ex-etiquette?

A: Around the holidays I always get questions about spending time as a family even though there has been a breakup. It's like people watch the History Channel all year long and then around the holidays switch to Hallmark.

Granted, it could be that your ex is now seeing the error of his ways. But the reality is, even if that is so, it sounds like you don't want to entertain his antics. Keep in mind that he's telling you he misses you and wants you back, not that he will change his ways.

I'm not surprised your kids want you to consider his offer. No matter what has happened in the past, kids of any age want their parents to reconcile.

If you want to nip this in the bud, good ex-etiquette is to respond accordingly — to both him and the kids. Your children are adults, and they can handle such a discussion. I would not suggest this if they were younger.

But let's say that you also are having second thoughts about the split. You miss your old life, and you secretly feel you can forgive your ex. That's a normal response around the holidays, too.

My suggestion is don't do anything until about February. By then the holiday feeling will have subsided and you will be able to better assess your choices.

Ex-etiquette Rule No. 8 is "Be honest and straightforward." It doesn't specify with whom. In your case it may mean, "Be honest and straightforward — with yourself." The holidays do crazy things to people. Write me again in February, and we will see where we stand. That's good ex-etiquette.

Jann Blackstone is the founder of bonusfamilies.com.