Experts weigh in

"The best cure is to start to get those secrets out on the table. Once that awareness is opened up, especially if there haven't been too many years of anger buildup, just seeing it and finding a better way to communicate can solve the existing issues."

"First and foremost, be truthful. Little white lies add up to bigger ones and it only makes you feel terrible about yourself and the situation you're in. Set your ego aside and take some money management courses -- even better, do it together as a couple so you're starting from the same foundation."

Regardless of who makes the money, both spouses must take an active role in managing finances even if one person is really good at managing 401(k)s and making life-insurance decisions. The other should be looking at every bank statement and be aware of changes with at least once-a-month check-ins.

Using her own marriage as an example, Wolff outlined how she and her husband compromise about money. She likes international travel and nice hotels, he likes buying a new truck when he can, and neither is all that interested in the other's preferred self-indulgence.

"You each need to acknowledge and try to understand what the other finds important. Your overall plan needs to allow for both shared and individual goals."

The couple has also agreed to a $1,000 limit on purchases made without consulting each other.

"Also it's a good idea to have separate allowances or bank accounts so you are able to do the small stuff, like shoe shopping or golfing."

KRISTIN TILLOTSON