Soldiers lie whenever they talk too much about their battles: the fear, the heroism, the deaths. They lie because the mother who listens to her soldier-son is led to think that every day is battle day. Not true, of course.
In Vietnam — in nearly every division except the war-weary 101st Airborne and 25th Infantry — the foot-soldier's main foes are trench foot, blisters, heat exhaustion and the damnable boredom that comes from having nothing to do but slap mosquitoes and wonder when Nixon will stop playing pussyfoot and pull your valuable behind out of a war that, sooner or later, we'll be pulled out of anyway. Boredom — human vegetation — that's the real enemy.
In a way it's a scandal. There are plenty of captains and lieutenants who see it is futile to commit more lives to a war that's nearly ended; or, if not ended, to a war that will not be won. They take their troops, their friends, up to the mountains, find a good defensive position and sit around for a week or two, not giving a short-timer's damn if they find Charlie or not. In fact, they and their men hope the enemy is a million miles away.
But in another sense, it is terrific that the lower-elite of today's Action Army sees the sane way out of the bind. It's a rare company commander and much rarer platoon leader who knowingly leads his men into a hot spot, not if he can smoothly avoid it.
So one day recently we sat atop a mountain, felt safe, and were bored.
The first day, the coolest day of them all, was pretty good. Re-supply came early, the choppers dropping off cold milk, beef sandwiches, cold soda and beer, mail and a few newspapers. The mail and newspapers and liquids satisfied even the jumpiest soldier.
About noon the next day, things got worse. It rained. A heavy, four-hour, monsoon rain right in the middle of the dry season. So we lay in leaky hooches and counted leeches. My buddy from the Bronx wrote a letter to his girl.
"How do you spell, uh, 'romantic'?" I spelled the word best I could. "How do you spell 'curvaceous'?" I had a harder time with that one but pretty soon it looked right.