Gilbert de la O, St. Paul civic leader and youth coach, dies at 77

Gilbert de la O, a lifelong West Sider, was a combat veteran, youth coach and pride of St. Paul's Latino community.

He was born Aug. 26, 1945, and grew up poor in the flood-prone West Side Flats. He enlisted to fight in Vietnam right after high school, and survived the Battle of Xa Cam My. Returning from war wounded and transformed from a rebellious teen into a man of purpose, de la O vowed to devote the rest of his life to community service. As a street outreach worker, he brought struggling youth into the fold of Neighborhood House via his own experiences with hardship, table tennis and pool, and prolific nicknames.

He died Sunday, three days after the 55th anniversary of his marriage to wife Joyce.

"He was in many ways larger than life, but at the same time, he was just a down-to-earth, good person," said Donny Luna, a boyhood friend and fellow Vietnam veteran. "He spoke plainly and he spoke the truth all the time. He had great integrity."

De la O eventually served as executive director of Neighborhood House and was the first Latino elected to the St. Paul Public School Board. He founded the neighborhood sports league West Side Boosters, and coached generations of boys and girls. The El Rio Vista Recreation Center ballfields are named for him. Later in life, de la O served as chair of the St. Paul Police Civilian Internal Affairs Commission.

"He really pushed me as a young girl of the West Side to take leadership, because not many girls where we come from had that opportunity," said Maria Isa, a community organizer running for the Minnesota House of Representatives who calls de la O a mentor. "We've lost our chief."

De la O had two sons, Roman and Diego, and a dozen grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Sharing his father with the West Side was an honor, said Roman. While his father lived much of his life in public, his private passions included blues festivals, his weekly breakfast club, biking with his grandchildren and playing Santa Claus.

After de la O retired, memories of the war surfaced in place of all the things that used to keep him busy, Roman recalled. He went to therapy at age 65, came to terms with his survivor guilt for the first time, and found a measure of peace.

De la O was diagnosed with cancer in 2019. His greatest concern was whether Joyce would be safe and happy after he died, Roman said, so his family determined to prove he had nothing to worry about by taking care of them both.

"My dad, he would always say there were three types of people: people who let things happen, people who wondered what happened, and people who make things happen," Roman said. "And then he would always say how he was grateful to be blessed by the people that he worked with, and people in his community who were doers."

De la O's memorial gathering is scheduled Thursday at 10 a.m. at Church of St. Matthew, 510 Hall Ave., St. Paul.