Minnesota 'Golden Bachelor' finalist Leslie Fhima is looking for someone 'to be still with'

Leslie Fhima snowboards and runs and dances. She paddleboards on Minneapolis lakes. She leads Pilates retreats in Costa Rica.

And for years, the 64-year-old was looking for a man to do those things beside her.

But falling in love on "The Golden Bachelor" changed that, Fhima said Tuesday.

"I really learned that I can be with a guy that does half the things with me — instead of everything with me," she said. "And I think that's important, because when you get older, you just want someone to be still with."

During a 10-minute Zoom interview from her Minneapolis condo Tuesday, Fhima reflected on what she learned from the ABC-TV reality TV show, how she recovered from that brutal breakup with Gerry Turner and whether she's in talks to become the first "Golden Bachelorette."

The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

Q: You've talked about embracing vulnerability. How tough was that for you? And what was it about the show that allowed you to do that?

A: Well, it is a little tough for me because I don't really like to show that side of me as much. The show brings that out, in a very organic way — just being around other girls and feeling your feelings and not having extraneous things going on with your phone or your kids. So you are more in tune with your feelings.

There were times when I watched it back and thought, "I wish I wasn't crying so much." But at the end of the day, I was really myself. And that's all I wanted to do, is just be myself.

Q: A lot of people want to know what Gerry said in the fantasy suites that gave you this sense that you were the one. Are you open to sharing?

A: It was more of an assurance that Gerry gave me, plans for the future, that kind of thing. I don't really want to get into what he said to me, only because I want to keep that private. But people heard him say "You're my girl" and "I think you're the one."

Q: Since the breakup, how has your family supported you?

A: Well, my grandkids were so cute. Of course, my granddaughter Sofia was like, "Don't worry, Glama, it's OK." Obviously, my kids didn't like to see me cry on TV like that. It was a little hard for them. But all my family have been really supportive. They just want me to be happy.

Q: You've had a few months to process the breakup, the heartbreak. Do you still think now that you and Gerry would have been good together?

A: It's a hard question. There were certainly times when I came home that I missed him — and I missed the thought of us doing things together, because I had that in my head. But at the end of the day, I want him to be happy.

And Teresa was my friend, and I'm glad that they are happy together. It is hard when you break up with someone and then don't even communicate. It's hard, but it's probably good. So I got to just really process it with myself. I think they're a good couple.

Q: What's one thing you learned about yourself doing the show?

A: I was always looking for the person that had everything instead of just some of the things. My kids said, "You're too picky."

It's not that I'm not as picky now. I just know that there are certain things that I can do on my own, with my friends, with my family. I don't have to find that person that encompasses everything I do or I thought I wanted.

Q: That makes sense, given how many things you do. It would be hard for someone to keep up.

A: I was like, "Oh, I've been putting too much pressure on people!"

You know, Gerry and I had a lot of fun together, and he made me laugh. And I realized that at the end of the day, that's all I want — to just be with somebody that makes me happy and I make them happy and we choose each other.

Q: You talked about birthdays being hard and I think that resonated with people. I know you have a birthday coming up. How are you thinking about that?

A: I would have loved to have a birthday this year with someone special. But I'm going to spend it with my children and my friends, as I always do. So I guess I'm back to that but, you know, it's OK.

Maybe next year it'll be different. I mean, I have to have an open mind and I have to kind of laugh at it. It is like "Groundhog Day."

Q: So many people have been inspired by your vitality at 64. I'd love to hear one or two pieces of advice you have for aging well.

A: I take everything in moderation. I feel like if you do that, then you don't have to play catch-up or do Dry January. And that's kind of been my way of life — except I may exercise a little bit more. [Laughs.] But my broken arm probably slowed me down in a good way, actually.

I also think that I don't say no to a lot of things. If someone would call me and say, "Do you want to go to a concert?" Do I really want to go to a concert on a Tuesday night? No, but I'm going. I just feel like you've got to enjoy life now because it's all we've got.

Q: Where do you hope to be in a year?

A: I just want to be healthy, to stay healthy. I want to find my person. I want us to choose each other. I want to enjoy my children and my grandchildren. They are going to grow up really fast, and I just want to enjoy every second with them.

Q: So, are you in talks about "The Golden Bachelorette"?

A: Not as of yet, no.

Q: Well, I know Minnesota would love to see you in that role.

A: Well, thank you. You never know. Maybe in a year, who knows? I take it one day at a time.