SAN DIEGO - Is it just me, or is golf flatter than a putter face?
Tiger's got a bum knee, Annika is retiring; the Lorena Slam died last week, and the 2008 Masters was won by ... some guy in a golf shirt, right?
Golf courses in Minnesota, plagued by a bad economy and worse weather, are hurting, and the next generation of plutonium-faced drivers arrives about as often as the mail, making the game's once-stunning techological advances seem as overstated as your average weight-loss infomercial.
The game needs the kind of jolt Tiger Woods provided as a kid when he said, "Hello, world." With the U.S. Open beginning today at beautiful Torrey Pines in San Diego, the game needs the kind of jolt that only can occur when Tiger reaches the first tee and says, "Hello, Phil."
Golf needs that to happen, oh, four times this week.
The USGA, in its infinite ignorance, actually got this part of its typically medieval U.S. Open setup right, pairing Tiger, Phil Mickelson and Adam Scott in the first two rounds. The best script would have Scott playing the role of Alfred the butler to Woods' Batman and Mickelson's Joker.
Woods and Mickelson have never played in the final group of a major together, which, for golf's best interests, is like having the Lakers and Celtics never meet in the NBA Finals.
Tiger is the world's favorite golfer, the only personality in the game with mass crossover appeal, and his popularity is at its apex in Southern California, where he grew up, and at Torrey Pines, where he typically dominates.