When the shaman said it was time, Joua Lee Grande handed her camera to her teenage brother and took her place before the altar. Seated on the shaman's wooden bench in her parents' cramped north Minneapolis living room with a pair of ceremonial bells on her fingers and a black veil over her face, she felt like an impostor.
Behind her, the shaman struck his gong repeatedly, unfurling a wall of sound. If she had spirit guides, they would confirm her calling as a tvix neeb, or Hmong shaman, by causing her body to shake uncontrollably.
When the gong fell silent, she removed the bells and the veil. She felt a little shaky, but she never shook. After all, Joua didn't believe in spirits.
To her surprise, the shaman turned to her parents and explained that though Joua did not shake, he had seen her spirit guides: Joua had been chosen to become a shaman.
Recalling that day 11 years later, Joua, now 34, chuckles. "The footage [of the event] was terrible, but I was a beginner filmmaker and I thought, 'Let's just film it and see what happens!' " Joua says.
Now a veteran filmmaker whose work has been featured on World Channel and PBS Digital Studios, and has been screened at festivals across the country, she has revisited this footage of her txhib, or "shake test" in the making of "Spirited."
In the feature-length documentary, Joua follows her journey to reconnect with Hmong shamanism while reckoning with the challenges that haunt her community. As the film's director, producer and main subject, she also explores the as yet unanswered question: Will she say yes to her spirit guides and become a shaman, or will she choose to walk away?
Growing up, Joua remembers the overflowing houses, the mouthwatering aroma of boiled pork and greens, and the roar of the shaman's gong. During the healing rituals she attended as a child, as many as 100 Hmong people would squeeze into a family's home to bear witness to the shaman's work.