One morning I caught my 8-year-old son studying his face in the bathroom mirror. He liked what he saw.
"I have strong cheekbones," he said, a little too gleefully.
It is a proud and peculiar thing to witness your half-Chinese boy admire himself in America. Not for his accomplishments on the soccer field or a perfect score on a spelling test, but his sheer physical appearance.
But then I thought about how I've tried to curate his media diet for as long as I've been the keeper of the tablet and remote control. Under my watch, he will never view "Sixteen Candles," "Breakfast at Tiffany's" or even "Fargo," all widely adored classics in which the sole Asian male character is a buffoon. As a child of the '80s, I saw Long Duk Dong all but eviscerate Asian American masculinity for a generation. The phrase, "What's happenin', hot stuff?" still makes me shudder.
In a perhaps misguided attempt to overcorrect, I've let my boys watch other shows, like all four seasons of "The Good Place." Manny Jacinto played a sweet but dumb-as-a-rock DJ, with, yeah, impossibly fabulous cheekbones.
But now with the new Marvel movie "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings," I have hopes that we are turning a corner in how Asian American men are seen in film and beyond. As a community, we celebrate this moment.
Ryan Stopera saw the movie on opening weekend and felt "seen in a way I always wanted as a kid." He and his friends are part of a racially diverse club they call the Secret Society of Nerds of Color Film Fanatics. Stopera, a Minneapolis-based photographer, filmmaker and educator of Chinese and Polish descent, said the movie has the power to expand the story for Asian Americans everywhere.
"When 'Crazy Rich Asians' came out, it was like, 'Cool — there's something besides 'Long Duk Dong,' " Stopera said. "But I don't think it was necessarily helpful to the model-minority narrative. With 'Shang-Chi,' he has a layered identity. He's clearly strong, he has a lot of power, he's a superhero. But he has an internal conflict, and there's emotional weight behind his decisionmaking."