It was the end of my first day at a new job on the campus of Cal State Los Angeles. I boarded a bus for the long commute home with a crush of students jockeying for the few empty seats. I watched an elderly Asian woman slide over from her aisle seat and beckon a young Latina standing nearby to take the empty seat next to her.
The student plopped down gratefully. Then she spotted me, weary in business clothes and heels, and popped back up, gesturing for me to take her spot. I thanked her quietly and sat down.
I'd barely settled in when I felt rustling from the seat next to me. The old woman was muttering and glaring at me, as she collected her shopping bags and abruptly squeezed past me to stand in the aisle.
I had no doubt about what was happening. That Asian woman would rather stand with her bags than rest in a seat next to a Black person.
I slid over, turned my face to the window and fished in my purse for a tissue to dab the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. I didn't even bother to look when someone took the seat next to me — until I heard a soft voice say, "I'm so sorry."
It was the student who had initially given me her seat.
Her private acknowledgment of my hurt feelings meant the world to me. The burden of being publicly debased felt a bit lighter because she understood.
It's a feeling familiar to many people of color — but in this case my tormentor was a person of color too. And so was the young woman who tended to me.