On the NFL: Here are the Vikings midseason awards. Are they really 7-2?

We’re one sloppy, er, “Sam”day in Jacksonville past the halfway point of the Vikings’ 2024 season. Time for some midseason awards …

It may sound like coachspeak spin, but if you’ve followed the NFL long enough you most certainly get where Vikings coach Kevin O’Connell is coming from when he said Sunday’s hideous 12-7 victory at Jacksonville “is one of the wins I’ll be most proud of. … These are the ones you remember.”

Ask Kirko Chainz and the Falcons — losers to a New Orleans team that had just fired its coach in the wake of a seven-game losing streak — if there were worse ways to spend last Sunday.

Sunday’s narrow escape conjured memories of 2008 when the Vikings beat the Lions 12-10 as the Metrodome pulsated with chants of “Fire Childress!” in Week 6. Detroit was on its way to the first 0-16 season in NFL history. Without those 12 measly points and that hideous victory, the Vikings miss the playoffs and Chicago wins the NFC North.

Is beating Jacksonville with no touchdowns and three Sam Darnold interceptions the “best” victory of the year? Maybe not. Should it be the most appreciated victory of the year? Definitely.

Aaron Jones. The veteran running back makes everything about this team tougher, more explosive, more balanced, more efficient, and just better, both offensively and defensively, in how he helps control a game’s tempo. He’s not the best player on the team, but he is exactly what it needed coming off last season.

It’s probably open season on Darnold after back-to-back stinkers in terms of “Why the $#@%^& did he do that?!” errors in judgment and/or execution.

But …

Darnold is 7-2. Repeat that one without the urge to duck from flying pigs.

Some get through today’s anxious world by repeating the Serenity Prayer. Perhaps Vikings fans need a quiet moment Sunday to say a “Sam-enity Prayer.” Something like, “Football gods, grant me the Sam-enity to accept only the bottom line that our guy Sammy was just good enough to be 5-0 … then 6-2 … now 7-2 … and will be favored to be just good enough to go 8-2 at Tennessee and 9-2 at Chicago. Amen.”

Coordinator Brian Flores gave General Manager Kwesi Claus, er, Adofo-Mensah one of the league’s best Christmas free-agent wish lists to work with after last season’s slide. Not only that, but B-Flo also realized Kwesi Claus was operating on a tight budget.

While many of the other 31 kids around the league got the shiniest, most expensive toys, Flores got better value and, in many cases, better players in Jihad Ward, Shaq Griffin, Blake Cashman, Andrew Van Ginkel, Jonathan Greenard and Stephon Gilmore.

Kwesi Claus ‘24 is, of course, an equal-opportunity bargain hunter. With his team staring at 10 games without a starting-caliber left tackle, Kwesi Claus used the trade deadline to deliver Cam Robinson, a 91-start veteran who’s now 2-0 as a Viking.

You don’t hear the words “Jonathan Bullard” much while watching the Vikings. You do, however, see jersey number 90 in a lot of scrums and pile-ups that end with losses to no gain for the opposition.

Many of us (guilty) didn’t view the Vikings’ defensive line outside of Harrison Phillips as good enough. Bullard is good enough. He has five tackles for loss, first among the linemen and fifth overall. He also has two passes defensed. But, mainly, he’s best at quietly not getting driven off the ball, which is a key factor in the Vikings having the No. 2 run defense (79.0).

Did you ever think that the Kicking-Cursed Vikings would be saved by a … KICKER?! Let alone a street free-agent kicker making all four tries in his NFL debut five days after an off-day tryout?

Welcome to Minnesota, John Parker Romo. Land of 10,000 Lakes and O’Connell, the Kicker Whisperer!

Is the NFL’s Year of the Pre-Snap Penalty thriving in Minnesota? You betcha.

The Vikings have 31 of them, picking up three more in Jacksonville after a week off versus Indy. The Vikings have eight illegal formations, fourth worst in the league.

Hey, guys, STOP IT! This game is messy enough AFTER the ball is snapped.

The victory in Jacksonville was the fatal blow to all 6-11 predictions (guilty). We’ve been mathematically eliminated and officially exposed as being the prognosticating equivalent of Mac Jones trying to predict Brian Flores’ next move.

How will the Vikings finish this season?

Well, the urge after several seconds of contemplation is to say they enjoy four victories against Tennessee, Arizona, Green Bay and Chicago at home while suffering four losses against Atlanta, Seattle, Detroit and Chicago on the road for no other reason than losing to Caleb Williams makes no sense, which thusly makes all the sense in the world at Chicago.

Instead, let’s scrap that and go with four words you rarely hear the media say:

I honestly don’t know.