Medcalf: St. Paul brewery hosts opportunity to vibe with therapists

To Sarah Lindsey, therapy is a beautiful relationship when it works.

“The therapist should be intentional and careful and curious with you,” said Lindsey, a Twin Cities therapist. “You should leave feeling understood. That’s the goal.

“I really believe that we heal in the context of a relationship and that’s where a lot of our hurts come from.”

But Lindsey says there’s a foundational element that’s key to fostering a fruitful relationship between a therapist and client: finding the right fit.

That’s why Lindsey and Adam Steinbach, both therapists and co-founders of As You Are Therapy in Minneapolis and St. Paul, have launched an innovative idea: a speed-dating event — but for therapy.

At 1 p.m. Sunday, those looking to connect with a therapist can find a diverse collection of professionals at Bad Weather Brewing Co. in St. Paul for Therapy on Tap. The idea is simple. Folks can stop by the brewery and meet therapists — representing LGBTQ, BIPOC, neurodivergent and other communities — and ask the questions that could lead to a professional relationship.

That’s the part I found most intriguing when I met Lindsey this month at my homegirl’s birthday party and we discussed this concept. While therapy is normalized for some, others have not been granted the same access or entry points to support.

Steinbach and Lindsey hope Sunday’s event can change that reality for some.

Steinbach said he thought of the idea as his wife struggled to find a therapist who met her needs. I thought that was an important point. If a therapist’s wife is grappling with her pursuit of support, imagine the challenges others may face.

“[My wife] has been looking for a therapist for, I don’t know, four or five months, and she’s just having a tough time looking at people’s online profiles, looking at their websites, sending an email, waiting three or four days and getting an email back,” Steinbach said.

“And this kind of slow process to see, OK, ‘Do I like this person even or do I connect with them?’

“She had just mentioned, it’d be nice if there was somewhere she could go where there are just a bunch of therapists and she could talk to them,” he continued. “I was like, ‘That sounds like a really good idea. What if we did some sort of market where we could bring in therapists who we know, therapists who work with a diverse group of different clients just to be in a community space and that way people who are either just there or they hear about the event can come and try to find the right fit?’”

Fit is important but only once the idea of therapy as a beneficial addition to a person’s life is embraced.

When I was a kid, I knew so many Black folks who got therapy from church, their friends and family members and their own inner strength. But that journey for many within my community is also steeped in historic marginalization and barriers to mental health assistance.

Therapy is a newer idea for many in my circle and not one they all fully trust, so an event that offers a casual platform for these introductions is appealing.

But it’s also a delicate process. Therapy can quickly become an experience akin to getting food poisoning the first time you try a new food. You’ll never do it again. And that’s unfortunate but real, especially for those within diverse communities who have battled both stigmas around therapy and real concerns about choosing a therapist that can also understand the totality of their humanity, including cultural, social and racial experiences.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, 48% of white people who had been diagnosed with mental illness in 2015 received treatment compared with 31% of African Americans and Hispanics, and 22% of Asians.

“Lack of cultural understanding by health care providers may contribute to underdiagnosis and/or misdiagnosis of mental illness in people from racially/ethnically diverse populations,” the association said in its study about disparities in mental health treatment.

“Factors that contribute to these kinds of misdiagnoses include language differences between patient and provider, stigma of mental illness among minority groups, and cultural presentation of symptoms.”

That’s why Sunday’s event matters. Traditional avenues to therapy for some are not traditional avenues to therapy for others. And Therapy on Tap seems like an attempt to make therapy easier for all. I think that’s necessary and valuable. Because anyone who has gone through therapy can tell you that long before you get into the deep stuff, you have to first trust the person on the other end of that dialogue.

“There is this idea that therapists are blank slates, and I don’t believe in that,” Lindsey told me. “I’m not a blank slate. I am very loud about my values, and I want to work with people who are customers of therapy who want to work with me, so the relationship and the fit on my end and their end matters. So Therapy on Tap is kind of like a vibe check.”