Forgettable Gophers football season ends with victory in Basement Bowl

(The Star Tribune did not send the writer of this article to the game in Detroit. The writer is grateful for that.)

The avalanche of bowl games that has made it more difficult for an FBS team to miss one (38%) than to make one (62%) has led to a tradition for college football reporters at various outlets.

When the opponents for these games are announced in early December, the experts will rate the appeal of the 41 bowl matchups, starting with the College Football Playoff semifinals — this time the Rose Bowl (Alabama vs. Michigan) and Sugar Bowl (Texas vs. Washington) on New Year's Day.

Tuesday's Quick Lane Bowl in Detroit had the advantage in derision by hosting the Gophers as the only losing team among the 82; invited not on strength of their performance but on their tutorship.

Among a sampling of eight bowl ratings came the following:

Eddie Timanus from USA Today, Nick Bromberg from Yahoo Sports, Cody Nagel from 247 Sports and Justin Williams from the Athletic had the Gophers-Bowling Green contest rated No. 41 (last).

Tom Fornelli from CBS Sports and Bryan Fischer from Fox Sports had the Quick Lane at No. 40, Steven Lassan from Athlon Sports had it at No. 39, and Patrick Stevens from the Washington Post placed it at a lofty 35th.

Among the main competitors to the Quick Lane as this season's Basement Bowl was the 68 Ventures Bowl played in Mobile, Ala. And what a tilt it was — South Alabama 59, Eastern Michigan 10, with an Eastern Michigan player rushing to punch an opponent at game's end and starting a brawl.

The behavior of the participants was much better in front of the cozy gathering at Ford Field on Tuesday, even though many Gophers players were holdovers from the most humiliating upset loss in team history — at home as 30½-point favorites to Bowling Green, 14-10, on Sept. 25, 2021.

OK, there was that 16-6 home loss to Grinnell in 1898 that wound up causing Jack Minds to give up coaching after one Gophers season, but I'm guessing the betting number was lower before the invention of the forward pass.

Which could be rediscovered as a weapon by Gophers coach P.J. Fleck next fall, with transfer Max Brosmer (a 3,464-yard passer at New Hampshire) taking over for sinker-baller Athan Kaliakmanis as the offensive trigger.

On Tuesday, Cole Kramer was given a first start in his last-ever college game. He was convinced to stay for the bowl game by Fleck after Kaliakmanis and a QB named Drew Viotto entered the transfer portal.

There was conversation that Kramer was involved in events for an upcoming wedding in February, although these pending vows could not be confirmed Tuesday if you happened to miss the eight to 10 minutes in the 3 ½-hour telecast when the ESPN staff avoided the subject.

Kramer's statistics were modest, but he wound up being pushed into the end zone for a touchdown and throwing two short TD passes. This allowed Kramer to leave with a 1-0 career starting record in five years with the Gophers.

The final was Gophers 30, Bowling Green 24, although from a physical standpoint, the second half was a much larger mismatch in Minnesota's favor.

Darius Taylor, the freshman running back, returned from injury and was his dynamic self, using those great feet to turn the smallest opening into instant 8-yard gains.

Darius the Wondrous has said he's committed to the Gophers' name, image and likeness efforts and will be back next fall, so don't worry about that 15-day spring transfer portal, Ski-U-Mah loyalists.

The Gophers finished Fleck's seventh season at 6-7, but they did break two streaks: beating Iowa for the first time in his tenure and officially ending the Mid-American Conference's 17-year streak of winning at least one game against a Big Ten opponent.

The MAC was 0-9 vs. the Big Ten in 2023 — a true embarrassment since six of those losses were to the West Division. The Gophers were responsible for two MAC setbacks; Eastern Michigan early, Bowling Green on Tuesday.

Surely 2-0 vs. the MAC will be enough for athletic director Mark Coyle to give Fleck another extension, starting with a $500,000 raise. I mean, Fleck did sell out the opener against Nebraska.

It must be admitted that a few of us will best remember this failed Gophers season with the bootleg video of Illinois coach Bret Bielema, a large fellow, charging toward his players in a raucous winning locker room and offering a Fleck pantomime, as if he was going to crowd surf his athletes.

So funny it made you nostalgic for John Candy.