There was a message sent to my cellphone Sunday at 1:22 p.m., suggesting a column should be written theorizing on "Who did it to us?" — with the "us" being ardent Minnesota sports followers.
The sporting gods aren't mad at us, Minnesota. Wild rides like these are why we love sports
For every Kirk Cousins, Bret Bielema or Jaren Hall deep sigh, there's the thrill of an amped-up Timberwolves team, a Joshua Dobbs stunner and a pig trophy.
This would be an exploration to find the original source that angered the sporting gods and condemned Minnesota fans to an "eternal life of suffering.''
Apparently, the impetus for this was twofold:
— The Gophers' unlikely last-minute defeat against Illinois on their home field Saturday, putting them at 0-10 vs. coach Bret Bielema.
— A season-ending injury to Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins, then a concussion received by rookie replacement Jaren Hall on a hit early Sunday in Atlanta. This left the team in the hands of the unfamiliar Joshua Dobbs, who as a first act was tackled in the end zone for a safety.
This column advice called for full buy-in on the view that Minnesota sports loyalists have been saddled with North American-leading amount of suffering.
There were those four Super Bowl losses in the 1970s, but those whining the most about the unfairness of it all would be focused on the past quarter-century.
Yup — the 1998 Vikings season, the 30-27 overtime loss to Atlanta on Jan. 17, 1999, in the NFC title game. Gary Anderson's one missed field goal. Brian Peterson's postgame photo that became known as "The Weeping Blondes'' in the next morning's Star Tribune.
Here's the problem with the "Who did it?" inquiry. I don't buy the theory. Ups-and-downs are what make sports fantastic for all of us.
Last weekend, for instance.
Saturday, Illinois backup quarterback John Paddock comes in for the injured starter facing fourth-and-11 at his own 15-yard line and completes three straight passes for 85 yards for the winning touchdown (27-26) in the final minute vs. the Gophers.
Yes, and two weeks earlier in Iowa City, Cooper DeJean bursts free from a maze of Gophers for a 54-yard punt return that would lead to a shocking victory for the offensively inept Hawkeyes, only to have the touchdown nullified on an astounding decision by a replay official.
Gophers win, 12-10, and finally bring home the pig.
Gophers' recent record with sporting gods: One win, one loss.
Sunday in Atlanta, as Dobbs faced a heavy rush, there was the safety and two lost fumbles on strip sacks, and all across Minnesota came the lament:
"Why, fate decider, did thou afflict our hero Kirk with that torn Achilles? You saw the Netflix documentary, did thou not? He's such a good man, so dedicated.''
And then Dobbs' mobility allowed him to escape a few situations where Cousins would have been a sitting duck — including an amazing scramble that led to a winning touchdown with 20 seconds left in a 31-28 victory.
Plus: Remember that horrible blow the sporting gods gave the Vikings with Justin Jefferson going on the injured list? Well, they've gone 4-0 without him and now he'll be back Sunday (probably), and the Vikings will likely move closer to first-place in the soft NFC North after Detroit loses at the Los Angeles Chargers.
Poor, poor, pitiful us, right?
Judd Zulgad is a co-host of several podcasts on SKOR North (radio and other outlets), including a podcast with me.
How much "why us?'' feedback do you get from listeners and on social media?
"There is a significant amount of that — the idea that we have been dealt more blows, and continue to suffer more than other fan bases,'' Zulgad said.
Zulgad and partner Phil Mackey aren't exactly ducking from this: They are involved in marketing apparel and a beer with the slogan "Before I Die'' — a plea for the Vikings to win a Super Bowl before that happens.
What Dan Barreiro, the host on KFAN's afternoon drive, gets regularly from members of his large audience after results such as Illinois over the Gophers will be: "This is why we can't have nice things.''
If this was Shark Tank, I'm out.
We have the Big Four sports teams, a soccer team, a WNBA team, a Big Ten university, and now plucky St. Thomas in D-I.
We've gone through it all.
The Twins and the Yankee Jinx? Yeah, I saw that jinx sitting together in the dugout before a playoff game at Target Field: Derek Jeter, Robinson Cano, Alex Rodriguez and Mark Teixeira.
The Wild plagued by those contracts to Ryan Suter and Zach Parise? Yeah, the day they signed together — July 4, 2012 — created 100% delight from Minnesota's world of hockey.
The Timberwolves' long tradition of ineptitude? Can't argue with that, but now there's Ant Edwards and Naz Reid, and old Target Center is rocking.
Gophers: Bad in men's basketball, but back in men's hockey.
Ups and downs. Win Floyd, lose to the jumbo-sized coach.
"The Good, the Bad and the Ugly'' could've been a sports movie. And the latter can be wins or losses.
The Wolves fell apart in the fourth quarter and have not won in Toronto in two decades.