This is a kids comedy that screams "Direct to DVD" -- in squeaky, three-part harmony. Whatever slim charms there were in the nostalgic, musically cute and slapstick-friendly first film of chipmunk mania are squished right out of "The Squeakquel" like so much rodent roadkill.

The cast is cut-rate and the script needed a serious gag writer. Apparently, Fox blew the budget on tunes. Songs from Beyoncé and Katy Perry to the Bee Gees and the Kinks are amusingly covered by competing bands of harmonizing forest fauna.

Alvin, Simon and Theodore take a step back from fame to go to West Eastman High School, where they cope with bullies, girls, budget cuts to the school music program and a Destiny's Child-inspired counter-group, the Chipettes -- managed by the Chipmunks' old agent/nemesis Ian (David Cross) -- who show up to shake their moneymakers and tempt the boys.

The script has one laugh in it. Just one. If you don't know what "Dutch Oven!" means in relation to flatulence, ask a kid. (Rated PG.)