Mark Craig's Week 2 NFL picks against the spread

Cheer up, fellow NFL prognosticators.

We all stunk it up in Week 1.

How smelly were we? Well, we're told one Survivor Pool entered Week 1 with 5,006 entries and exited with only 1,664 survivors, meaning 66.8% were as one-and-done as Andy Dalton's postseason career. One particular dumbbell had five swings and whiffed four times.

So, thanks for nothin', Tennessee, Indy, Cincy's long snapper and Denver's confused and conservative coach.

Oh, well. On to Week 2, which seems darn near as difficult to figure out with the 49ers, Rams, Bengals, Broncos and Packers all being 0-1 and favored by seven or more points.

Good luck on your picks. You'll probably need it. Again.

Here are this week's picks:

Bears (+10) at Packers: The Packers haven't started 0-2 since 2006. They can't protect Aaron Rodgers or catch his passes, but A-Rodg does own Chicago. Packers by 3.

Commanders (+1 ½) at Lions: Carson Wentz goes to 2-0 compliments of Detroit's atrocious defense. Commanders by 3.

Buccaneers (-2 ½) at Saints: The G.O.A.T. is a sitting duck against New Orleans. In four games against the Saints as a Buc, Tom Brady is 0-4 with eight interceptions. Saints by 7.

Panthers (+2 ½) at Giants: Giants by 7.

Patriots (-1) at Steelers: Steelers by 3.

Dolphins (+3 ½) at Ravens: Ravens by 10.

Jets (+6½) at Browns: Browns by 14.

Seahawks (+8½) at 49ers: 49ers by 3.

Falcons (+10) at Rams: Rams by 3.

Texans (+10) at Broncos: Broncos by 3.

Titans (+10) at Bills: Bills by 7

Vikings (+2) at Eagles: Philly and its fans get the nod only because they're at home and it's prime time. Eagles 27, Vikings 24

Bengals (-7) at Cowboys: Dallas can't possibly win a game with Cooper Rush starting at quarterback, right, Vikings fans? Oh, wait. Never mind. Cowboys 24, Bengals 21

Last week's prediction: Cardinals (+6 ½) 31, Chiefs 28. Score: Chiefs 44, Cardinals 21. Record: 0-1.