There have been occasions over these many decades when exaggeration might have found its way into the sports copy provided for daily newspapers, yet this is assurance that does not exist in this final offering from the 2024 Twins regular season.
On Thursday, there I was in the TV den, watching our heroes take on the Miami Marlins, one night after giving the worst team in the National League loss No. 100.
The Twins had chances to win this contest by dropping in a puny RBI single in innings 9 through 12. They then gave up three in the 13th and went down peacefully in the bottom of the inning for an 8-6 defeat.
The Twins have maintained a pace of winning one out of three (12-24) starting on Aug. 18, and that wondrous loss to the Marlins was earned comically, grotesquely and, it appeared, willingly. In the end, there was Carlos Correa, alleged team leader and critic of young teammates this week for not working hard enough, jogging to first base for the final out.
This might have been partly defendable, if the Marlins infielders were not about 50-50 to pick up a ground ball and aim it accurately to any base.
And in that hour-plus, from the bottom of the ninth through the bottom of 13th, I swear a vision appeared in the middle of our den, and it was Gene Mauch — my all-time favorite Twins manager and all-time worst loser — walking through the clubhouse, rubbing his right hand through that fine supply of gray hair, face reddened, taking silent, rageful laps among his quiet players before heading for the manager’s office.
The Little General’s era with the Twins was from 1976 until he quit in August 1980, and most of the clubhouses had the postgame food “spread” for players in the middle of the main room. When properly upset, Mauch was known to scatter the goodies.
The visual of Mauch was so strong it could have been a hologram, causing me to text Roy Smalley, Mauch’s shortstop and nephew, to get an estimate on how many postgame clubhouse laps from Uncle Gene would have been required after Thursday’s fiasco.