Pretty boy Roy's new sports bar is a champ

About "700 of my dad's closest friends," said PR woman Catherine Smalley, looking out over one of the private parties for Roy Smalley's new sports bar, Smalley's 87 Club.

When you're a member of the World Series-winning 1987 Twins, hundreds, if not, thousands of friends are easy to find for free food. Catherine, prez of GrapeVine Public Relations and Marketing, is looking forward to the sports bar her dad co-owns being packed with paying patrons. It's in the former Champps location in Butler Square.

Christine Smalley, Roy's wife, likes the space but has an idea for a touch that would set it apart from most sports bars: fluted wine glasses. And she doesn't think she should have to wait for the Twins to win a World Series in their new ballpark for this accoutrement. I couldn't tell whether Roy was sincere when he said they'd make sure there were fluted glasses on hand for Christine's Champagne. But I am sincere when I say I'd enjoy comparing old insider Twins gossip that Christine knows with tidbits I've never written after she's had a few glasses of bubbly. I'll even supply the flutes.

There is one aspect of your husband owning a bar that Christine really likes: If she plays her cards right, she never has to cook again. "I know," she said.

The food's good. His partners are Wayne Belisle and Tim Weiss, of Giggles fame. Weiss will probably have a big say in the food. I was partial to the ravioli filled with artichoke. (The artichoke flavor explodes in your mouth if consumed while drinking water.)

I was also partial to looking at that marvelous Smalley head of hair, which is the envy of men and women. While Roy was giving me a few comments, viewable at startribune.com/video, about his three favorite places at the sports bar, he noted Twins pitcher Jack Morris in one of the photo montages that dominate the space. I asked Smalley if he had noticed that Morris, with that glorious goatee and hairstyle, looks more handsome in his post-baseball days than he did as a younger man.

"I had noticed," said Smalley, who was something of a pretty boy during his playing days.

As plain as the nose ...

Nobody's happy to state the obvious about that bronze sculpture of Kirby Puckett: It doesn't look like him.

The body's off, too.

As moving as the Puckett unveiling was Monday at the new Target Field, with Kirby Puckett Jr. doing the honors, the sculpture's look was a huge letdown. Interesting, the smaller version of the sculpture being given to Puckett's family looks a teeny weeny bit more like him.

The face on the sculpture, based on AP photographer Jim Mone's 1991 World Series image of Puck, looks menacing and unnecessarily dark. Puckett is resolutely exuberant in Mone's photo, which captures the sweetness about Kirby's face during that jacked-up moment.

Sculptor Bill Mack had better results with his sculptures of Harmon Killebrew and Rod Carew, both of whom posed for their pieces. We can't pass off the unlikeness of Puckett to the fact that he's deceased.

Not until we all die will future fans appreciate that this face does not resemble Puckett's. And I love Mack's work. Too bad Puckett couldn't have looked more like Marilyn Monroe; Bill gets her right every time.

The curse of Judge Judy?

There's a Twit that must be picked with Visanthe Shiancoe.

The Viking tight end tweets on twitter.com that he's a huge fan of Judge Judy. That's a positive. If certain Vikings had had an imaginary Judge Judy on their shoulders when they were on Lake Minnetonka, there wouldn't have been a sex cruise.

The negative, however, is that Shiancoe misstates Judge Judy's act. "Judge Judy steadily curses people out," Shianco tweeted recently.

Not true. Judge Judy could not remain on TV if she dropped curse words. She may yell at people in her TV courtroom, and she has no patience for those who obfuscate, lie or treat her like she's an imbecile, but she never curses anybody on air. It's anybody guess, Shank, as to how off-color Judge Judy's verbal tirades are away from a mike. She's a passionate, impatient one.

C.J. is at 612.332.TIPS or cj@startribune.com. E-mailers, please state a subject -- "Hello" doesn't count. Attachments are not opened, so don't even try. More of her attitude can be seen on Fox 9 Thursday mornings.