Rand: Rules for the perfect fan (Part 1)

There is no secret formula to becoming the "perfect" sports fan, but there are certain things one can do to become better at it. With the help of several readers, we have compiled 20 rules for being a good sports fan. We are releasing them four at a time throughout the week. Hopefully, you enjoy it -- or at least call out your friends when they violate these rules.

Day 1: In-game behavior, not sport-specific.

1 DON'T DO THE WAVE

Sure, the wave might seem harmless enough. After all, what could be so bad about a bunch of people standing up and throwing their hands in the air in a controlled pattern? Well, let's see: It's not really all that fun ... it is a needless distraction from what's happening on the field ... and it will generally annoy people who actually care about the game. Seriously, there have been few greater acts we have witnessed than when a friend of ours single-handedly put down a wave in San Diego in 2004. It was magical. Exceptions to the rule: Maybe if you are under 10 and you are attending your first sporting event. Then you can do it once. But only once.

2 SHOW UP ON TIME AND DON'T LEAVE UNTIL THE GAME IS FINISHED

This one should be fairly self-explanatory. There is a reason a game is nine innings or a certain number of minutes. You honor the game by watching the entire thing, and a good sports fan is always worried about what he or she will miss by leaving early. Exceptions to the rule: If you have kids, we understand.

3 DON'T LEAVE YOUR SEAT OR COME BACK WHILE THE ACTION IS GOING ON

Again, self-explanatory. Have respect for those around you. Exception to the rule: Extreme bathroom situations.

4 DON'T PROPOSE IN-GAME ON THE JUMBOTRON

The moment you ask a question that will likely define the rest of two lives probably should not be witnessed by thousands of strangers. Exception to the rule: If you are absolutely positive that a Jumbotron proposal is your spouse-to-be's foremost wish in life.

MICHAEL RAND