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Our daughter Maria Pew was a domestic violence statistic in 2020. She was murdered by her husband, Josh Cox Fury, in her home. Cox was a classic abuser — nice in public but an experienced and skilled abuser in private in more than one relationship. After Maria's death, we realized we did not know the signs of abuse, other than bruises or broken bones, which Maria did not experience. We formed Maria's Voice, a nonprofit that educates everyone about the common signs of domestic abuse so people can avoid or leave a relationship prior to escalating dangers ("A reminder of domestic abuse's toll," editorial, June 15).
Two things are needed to diminish the toll of domestic abuse:
1) Funding for education to prevent domestic violence. Domestic violence is a chosen behavior, and there are 12 common signs of abuse. Education is needed in schools, in churches, in wellness programs, in businesses, to help everyone understand the signs. Prevention is woefully underfunded but is also a successful and cost-effective public health model, worthy of resources to prevent one of the biggest scourges on our society.
2) We need people and, more statistically, men, to speak out when they hear language or see behaviors that minimize, sexualize or put down others. When they speak up and don't tolerate off-color language, jokes that aren't funny or demeaning behaviors, men become powerful allies in domestic violence prevention. Prevention takes all of us, but particularly the influence and actions of those who are privileged to protect those who may not be safe in their homes.