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In response to the article "Yes, sex ed belongs in elementary schools" (April 20):
I am 51 years old. When I was 8, I went to the bathroom while I was at church with my family and a man tried to molest me.
I was extremely innocent at 8 years old. I did not know what sex was; I am quite sure I had never heard the word "vulva," and I know I had not had any "good touch, bad touch" lessons at school. However, I ran away from the man because, although I did not understand what was happening, I absolutely understood that this was not a good situation. I knew this because my sexually innocent 8-year-old self knew:
- Men do not belong in the women's bathroom.
- Private parts are supposed to be private.
- Adults are not supposed to ask you to keep secrets from your parents.
I immediately told my mom, who told my dad, and my parents went straight to the priest. The priest called the police, a policeman sensitively interviewed me in the presence of my parents and a county social worker visited our house twice over the next months to see how I was doing. Everything was handled just as it should have been. This was in a very small town in Iowa in 1978. (The police never caught the man; he was a stranger to me and I certainly would have recognized a member of our small parish.)
Over the intervening decades, I honestly didn't think about that experience very often. But it has been on my mind lately with all the clamor about how we need to let school employees have sensitive sexual conversations with small children. This kind of "education" might actually have slowed me down in that situation years ago.
What if I had been taught the insane idea that some women have penises — and therefore that this person belonged in the women's bathroom? What if I had been exposed to lessons about genitalia that normalized 8-year-old girls discussing and looking at penises? What if I had been assured by people outside my family that it was OK to share secrets with them? After all, if teachers will keep my secrets, why wouldn't I keep theirs?

