Remembering Tony Bennett: He radiated joie de vivre and erased the generation gap

Tony Bennett could paint with a brush and with his voice. With his teacher wife, he founded an arts high school in his native New York City. And he unwittingly created Take Your Mom to Work Day for me.

I took my mom to the Minnesota State Fair to see Sammy Davis Jr. once and also to enjoy Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gorme, acts we'd watched on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and late-night Steve Allen and Johnny Carson programs.

I took my mom to see Tony Bennett not once, not twice, but three times.

One time, in 2006, while I wrote my post-concert review in the business office of the Mystic Lake Casino, Mom occupied her time in the bingo room.

The next morning, I was going to interview Bennett in person, so I asked Mom what she wanted to know. "How can he perform so long without taking a drink of water?"

So that became my first question to the man in a dark business suit and hip blue-and-green striped dress shirt in the presidential suite at Minneapolis' Grand Hotel, a fitting place for such a revered musical institution. His answer was so mundane that the comment didn't even make it into the story.

We talked for an hour about his love of tennis (he played three times a week) and his new duets album featuring the likes of Paul McCartney, Elton John and Barbra Streisand. He stayed in town to perform at the annual Target managers' meeting at Target Center, a private affair for 5,800 people. He invited me to join him later for an evening soundcheck.

So, as he requested, I returned to the Grand Hotel, and we rode the four short blocks to Target Center in a long limo. Life is grand when you're Tony Bennett.

With his musicians, the crooner rehearsed a song each with his guest vocalists for audio and lighting technicians and an audience of one — me.

Afterward, we headed back to the limo and Bennett said, "Jon, let me introduce you to my friends. This is Ms. Krall, Ms. Lang and Mr. Costello." As in Diana Krall, k.d. lang and Elvis Costello.

Bennett, who died Friday at age 96, was the courtliest gentleman I've encountered in the music business. Always polite, thoughtful and forthright — and impeccably dressed.

I'd interviewed him before in person at a rehearsal for the Grammys in 1995. In mid-morning, he stood in a dressing room in his crisp navy suit as lang, his duets partner, sat on the floor (her choice) in her casual wear, almost more a fan than a participant.

Later in the Grammys press room, before the crooner surprisingly captured album of the year for "MTV Unplugged," I asked almost every artist who came backstage: "What do you think of Tony Bennett?" I was working on a profile to preview his upcoming concerts in Minneapolis and looking for choice comments to flesh out the story.

Said Bonnie Raitt: "He's the coolest guy on the Planet Earth."

As for Bennett, he said he's delighted when "some distinguished guy comes up to you and says, `I want to thank you; it's the first thing my children and I agree on in years.' It closes that generation gap. What's happening is the young people are getting back with their families."

A final interview, a final concert

This Tony Bennett thing started with me looking for a good story. It ended up with me becoming a big-time appreciator of the man and his music.

As the years moved on and Bennett continued to win Grammy after Grammy, I reviewed many of his Twin Cities concerts. The interviews continued, as well. For a 2019 story on what artists do to take care of their voices as they age, his people emailed a detailed quote from him:

"I still remember this cautionary tale that I was told back then about doing your vocal exercises: 'If you skip them one day, you know it; if you skip them two days, the band knows it; if you skip them three days, the audience knows it.'"

In concert, Bennett still sounded distinguished, radiating a special warmth and incomparable gravitas, but he said fewer things between songs.

My last interview with him was via email in 2019. But I could tell he spoke the answers to his wife, Susan Crow Benedetto, and she dutifully relayed them via his publicist.

Q: Every time I see you, you seem to radiate more and more joie de vivre. Where does that come from?

A: Thank you for saying that — it's very nice to hear. It took some time, but I learned that stress was a killer and that no matter what's going on, you have to stay as positive as possible. I truly believe life is a gift and each and every day is another opportunity to learn something new. Enjoy nature, which never disappoints. There is always something you can find that lifts your spirits.

I have always tried to avoid dwelling on the past and keep looking forward, so I think that also helps keep a positive attitude as you let go of regret. Over time I learned that the mistakes I have made taught me more than the things I did that were instantly successful. To be heading toward my 93rd birthday and still be able to perform and be healthy, it makes you appreciate every day.

We didn't know he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2016. That announcement didn't come until February 2021, when he officially retired.

But I did get to see him one final time shortly after that email interview. Weeks before that show, my colleague Suzanne, who often edited my concert reviews, asked if going to see Tony Bennett would be a good gift for her dad.

Of course, what had worked for my mom was perfect for her dad.