Brooks: As new threats to gay marriage emerge, Minnesota group plans free wedding bash

Sometimes, you meet the right person at the wrong moment in history. This is the story of how Hillary and Jennifer set their wedding date.

“From the moment I met her, I just knew she was my person,” Jennifer Ralph of Stillwater said of her new fiancée, Hillary Nash. “She’s the one I’ve been waiting for, my whole 47 years.”

“I wasn’t looking to find someone,” Nash said. “I told God I had a whole list. I was really specific. I wanted every box checked. And I kid you not, this one checked all the boxes — from her height to her personality to the freckles on her face. So I knew. I knew.”

After dating for almost a year, they were ready to marry. Weddings take planning and money, of course, but the couple knew they had time. Then times changed.

Same-sex marriage is legal nationwide. But recent history has shown us that rights can be lost, and lawmakers in at least nine states — including both Dakotas — are trying to repeal same-sex couples' right to marry.

Suddenly, getting married sooner rather than later seemed like a good idea. Just in case.

That’s how Jennifer and Hillary got invited to their own wedding.

“We are throwing a wedding on May 31st!” read the invitation from Do’gooders MN, a group that came together on Facebook to spread a little joy.

What’s more joyful than a wedding on the eve of Pride Month? Fifteen weddings — all in one place, all in one day, free of charge — seemed like a good start to the group’s founder, Kelly Wilson.

“We just want to get people married,” Wilson said with a laugh. Fifteen was the number of weddings she estimated they could conduct in one day in the venue they booked. They’ve dubbed the event “Unabashed Weddings.”

Jennifer and Hillary were the first couple to accept the offer. Six more couples have since signed up.

Three months isn’t much time to plan one wedding, never mind 15. The Do’gooders are making contingency plans in case they hear from more than 15 couples.

Right now, Wilson said, they’re lining up officiants, ushers, photographers, videographers, flowers, volunteers and a baker willing to whip up as many wedding cakes as necessary. A jeweler is offering a discount on rings and they’re looking for other merchants willing to donate wedding gifts.

They plan to have young musicians with violins there on May 31, serenading the wedding parties on their way into the chapels. Volunteers holding giant paper hearts will be standing by, ready to screen off any protesters who might try to crash the weddings.

After the ceremonies, there should be time for wedding photos, cake and the couples’ first dance. Then the newlyweds and their cakes head home to continue the celebration as the next wedding begins.

Wilson’s inspiration for Unabashed was her own wedding, 10½ years ago. It was six months before the federal government recognized her marriage to her wife as legal.

This summer marks the 10th anniversary of the Obergefell decision that made marriage equality the law of the land. This isn’t how Wilson expected to celebrate the anniversary of that Supreme Court ruling. She wants the couples to experience the same happiness she and her wife — and their three children, who were 8, 9 and 12 at the time — felt on their wedding day.

“To this day, the three of them talk about how that was one of their favorite days of their life,” Wilson said. “Because it was a celebration. We really want that for other people.”

Some think she’s doing a lot of unnecessary wedding planning over nothing.

Marriage equality is still the law of the land. Even if the Supreme Court were to overturn Obergefell, the 2022 Respect for Marriage Act still requires the federal government and every state to honor the validity of same-sex marriages.

Best-case scenario, nothing changes. Americans continue to marry the people they love, and in Minnesota a bunch of nice couples get a free wedding, plus an excuse to get together once a year for a massive anniversary party.

But this has been a worst-case-scenario sort of year for the LGBTQ+ community.

“The fear of not being able to marry this woman … we were kind of panicky,” said bride-to-be Hillary Nash. “Marriage is more than a piece of paper to me. To have that symbol in my life, and to share that with this person, means more than the world to me.”

Now, thanks to friends, family and strangers on the internet, they’re looking forward to their wedding day with anticipation, not anxiety.

“We’re getting our dream wedding and we’re not spending thousands of dollars,” Jennifer Ralph said. “It’s going to be such a joyful experience. We’re through-the-roof excited.”

If you want to join in the wedding planning, you can find Do’gooder MN on Facebook, or chip in on their GoFundMe. Also: if you know a volunteer DJ who isn’t completely booked on a Saturday in peak wedding season, send names.

LGBTQ+ couples who are ready to get married can email unabashed2025@gmail.com for more information.