Some toxic offerings in a 'smorgasbord' of bad writing

It's summer smorgasbord time!

But … beware, as we sample linguistic offerings, that on this table we will find only toxic items, however tasty they seem to lovers of wordplay.

For example, this from a vacation-advisory website:

"Gansbaai, off the coast of South Africa, has been named shark alley for its great presence of sharks. This is unfortunate, as sharks can induce a great amount of death in those who they attack. You do not, for the most part, want to be one of these people."

Hey, forewarned is forearmed, right? But don't offer that shark your forearm for lunch.

Enter the Grammar Police: It's not "who they attack." It's "whom they attack." Of course you can drop the "whom" and just write: "a great amount of death in those they attack."

But wait: Who would ever want to be caught dead writing that?

Now let's browse the buffet for that old nonfavorite, the dangling modifier, perhaps the most common sin that careless writers commit, to wit:

"As a longtime admirer of the champion tennis player Rafael Nadal, injuries have made his grass-court season a bumpy road."

That identifies "injuries" as the longtime admirer. As soon as you see "As a longtime admirer," the next clause must immediately identify the admirer. A quick fix:

"As a long-time admirer of the champion tennis player Rafael Nadal, I can see that injuries have made his grass-court season a bumpy road."

We are drowning in danglers.

Enough toxicity.

Finally, a nourishing and delectable dessert that will help all of us become better writers and that we can relish forever: Google "Nieman Storyboard" and subscribe to its free, weekly e-mail newsletter on the craft and art of nonfiction writing. Its editor and joyful spirit, Jacqui Banaszynski, won a 1988 Pulitzer Prize for feature writing as a reporter for the Pioneer Press.